All's Well That Ends Well by William Shakespeare

Act 1 - Scene 3

Rousillon. The COUNT’s palace.

Countess : I will now hear; what say you of this gentlewoman?

Steward : Madam, the care I have had to even your content, I [p]wish might be
found in the calendar of my past [p]endeavours; for then we wound our
modesty and make [p]foul the clearness of our deservings, when
of [p]ourselves we publish them.

Countess : What does this knave here? Get you gone, sirrah: [p]the complaints I
have heard of you I do not all [p]believe: 'tis my slowness that I do
not; for I know [p]you lack not folly to commit them, and have
ability [p]enough to make such knaveries yours.

Clown : 'Tis not unknown to you, madam, I am a poor fellow.

Countess : Well, sir.

Clown : No, madam, 'tis not so well that I am poor, though [p]many of the rich
are damned: but, if I may have [p]your ladyship's good will to go to
the world, Isbel [p]the woman and I will do as we may.

Countess : Wilt thou needs be a beggar?

Clown : I do beg your good will in this case.

Countess : In what case?

Clown : In Isbel's case and mine own. Service is no [p]heritage: and I think I
shall never have the [p]blessing of God till I have issue o' my body;
for [p]they say barnes are blessings.

Countess : Tell me thy reason why thou wilt marry.

Clown : My poor body, madam, requires it: I am driven on [p]by the flesh; and
he must needs go that the devil drives.

Countess : Is this all your worship's reason?

Clown : Faith, madam, I have other holy reasons such as they [p]are.

Countess : May the world know them?

Clown : I have been, madam, a wicked creature, as you and [p]all flesh and
blood are; and, indeed, I do marry [p]that I may repent.

Countess : Thy marriage, sooner than thy wickedness.

Clown : I am out o' friends, madam; and I hope to have [p]friends for my
wife's sake.

Countess : Such friends are thine enemies, knave.

Clown : You're shallow, madam, in great friends; for the [p]knaves come to do
that for me which I am aweary of. [p]He that ears my land spares my
team and gives me [p]leave to in the crop; if I be his cuckold, he's
my [p]drudge: he that comforts my wife is the cherisher [p]of my flesh
and blood; he that cherishes my flesh [p]and blood loves my flesh and
blood; he that loves my [p]flesh and blood is my friend: ergo, he that
kisses [p]my wife is my friend. If men could be contented to [p]be
what they are, there were no fear in marriage; [p]for young Charbon
the Puritan and old Poysam the [p]Papist, howsome'er their hearts are
severed in [p]religion, their heads are both one; they may
jowl [p]horns together, like any deer i' the herd.

Countess : Wilt thou ever be a foul-mouthed and calumnious knave?

Clown : A prophet I, madam; and I speak the truth the next [p]way: [p]For I
the ballad will repeat, [p]Which men full true shall find; [p]Your
marriage comes by destiny, [p]Your cuckoo sings by kind.

Countess : Get you gone, sir; I'll talk with you more anon.

Steward : May it please you, madam, that he bid Helen come to [p]you: of her I
am to speak.

Countess : Sirrah, tell my gentlewoman I would speak with her; [p]Helen, I mean.

Clown : Was this fair face the cause, quoth she, [p]Why the Grecians sacked
Troy? [p]Fond done, done fond, [p]Was this King Priam's joy? [p]With
that she sighed as she stood, [p]With that she sighed as she
stood, [p]And gave this sentence then; [p]Among nine bad if one be
good, [p]Among nine bad if one be good, [p]There's yet one good in
ten.

Countess : What, one good in ten? you corrupt the song, sirrah.

Clown : One good woman in ten, madam; which is a purifying [p]o' the song:
would God would serve the world so all [p]the year! we'ld find no
fault with the tithe-woman, [p]if I were the parson. One in ten, quoth
a'! An we [p]might have a good woman born but one every
blazing [p]star, or at an earthquake, 'twould mend the
lottery [p]well: a man may draw his heart out, ere a' pluck [p]one.

Countess : You'll be gone, sir knave, and do as I command you.

Clown : That man should be at woman's command, and yet no [p]hurt done! Though
honesty be no puritan, yet it [p]will do no hurt; it will wear the
surplice of [p]humility over the black gown of a big heart. I
am [p]going, forsooth: the business is for Helen to come hither.

Countess : Well, now.

Steward : I know, madam, you love your gentlewoman entirely.

Countess : Faith, I do: her father bequeathed her to me; and [p]she herself,
without other advantage, may lawfully [p]make title to as much love as
she finds: there is [p]more owing her than is paid; and more shall be
paid [p]her than she'll demand.

Steward : Madam, I was very late more near her than I think [p]she wished me:
alone she was, and did communicate [p]to herself her own words to her
own ears; she [p]thought, I dare vow for her, they touched not
any [p]stranger sense. Her matter was, she loved your son: [p]Fortune,
she said, was no goddess, that had put [p]such difference betwixt
their two estates; Love no [p]god, that would not extend his might,
only where [p]qualities were level; Dian no queen of virgins,
that [p]would suffer her poor knight surprised, without [p]rescue in
the first assault or ransom afterward. [p]This she delivered in the
most bitter touch of [p]sorrow that e'er I heard virgin exclaim in:
which I [p]held my duty speedily to acquaint you withal; [p]sithence,
in the loss that may happen, it concerns [p]you something to know it.

Countess : You have discharged this honestly; keep it to [p]yourself: many
likelihoods informed me of this [p]before, which hung so tottering in
the balance that [p]I could neither believe nor misdoubt. Pray
you, [p]leave me: stall this in your bosom; and I thank you [p]for
your honest care: I will speak with you further anon. [p][Exit
Steward] [p][Enter HELENA] [p]Even so it was with me when I was
young: [p]If ever we are nature's, these are ours; this thorn [p]Doth
to our rose of youth rightly belong; [p]Our blood to us, this to our
blood is born; [p]It is the show and seal of nature's truth, [p]Where
love's strong passion is impress'd in youth: [p]By our remembrances of
days foregone, [p]Such were our faults, or then we thought them
none. [p]Her eye is sick on't: I observe her now.

Helena : What is your pleasure, madam?

Countess : You know, Helen, [p]I am a mother to you.

Helena : Mine honourable mistress.

Countess : Nay, a mother: [p]Why not a mother? When I said 'a
mother,' [p]Methought you saw a serpent: what's in 'mother,' [p]That
you start at it? I say, I am your mother; [p]And put you in the
catalogue of those [p]That were enwombed mine: 'tis often
seen [p]Adoption strives with nature and choice breeds [p]A native
slip to us from foreign seeds: [p]You ne'er oppress'd me with a
mother's groan, [p]Yet I express to you a mother's care: [p]God's
mercy, maiden! does it curd thy blood [p]To say I am thy mother?
What's the matter, [p]That this distemper'd messenger of wet, [p]The
many-colour'd Iris, rounds thine eye? [p]Why? that you are my
daughter?

Helena : That I am not.

Countess : I say, I am your mother.

Helena : Pardon, madam; [p]The Count Rousillon cannot be my brother: [p]I am
from humble, he from honour'd name; [p]No note upon my parents, his
all noble: [p]My master, my dear lord he is; and I [p]His servant
live, and will his vassal die: [p]He must not be my brother.

Countess : Nor I your mother?

Helena : You are my mother, madam; would you were,-- [p]So that my lord your
son were not my brother,-- [p]Indeed my mother! or were you both our
mothers, [p]I care no more for than I do for heaven, [p]So I were not
his sister. Can't no other, [p]But, I your daughter, he must be my
brother?

Countess : Yes, Helen, you might be my daughter-in-law: [p]God shield you mean it
not! daughter and mother [p]So strive upon your pulse. What, pale
again? [p]My fear hath catch'd your fondness: now I see [p]The mystery
of your loneliness, and find [p]Your salt tears' head: now to all
sense 'tis gross [p]You love my son; invention is ashamed, [p]Against
the proclamation of thy passion, [p]To say thou dost not: therefore
tell me true; [p]But tell me then, 'tis so; for, look thy
cheeks [p]Confess it, th' one to th' other; and thine eyes [p]See it
so grossly shown in thy behaviors [p]That in their kind they speak it:
only sin [p]And hellish obstinacy tie thy tongue, [p]That truth should
be suspected. Speak, is't so? [p]If it be so, you have wound a goodly
clew; [p]If it be not, forswear't: howe'er, I charge thee, [p]As
heaven shall work in me for thine avail, [p]Tell me truly.

Helena : Good madam, pardon me!

Countess : Do you love my son?

Helena : Your pardon, noble mistress!

Countess : Love you my son?

Helena : Do not you love him, madam?

Countess : Go not about; my love hath in't a bond, [p]Whereof the world takes
note: come, come, disclose [p]The state of your affection; for your
passions [p]Have to the full appeach'd.

Helena : Then, I confess, [p]Here on my knee, before high heaven and
you, [p]That before you, and next unto high heaven, [p]I love your
son. [p]My friends were poor, but honest; so's my love: [p]Be not
offended; for it hurts not him [p]That he is loved of me: I follow him
not [p]By any token of presumptuous suit; [p]Nor would I have him till
I do deserve him; [p]Yet never know how that desert should be. [p]I
know I love in vain, strive against hope; [p]Yet in this captious and
intenible sieve [p]I still pour in the waters of my love [p]And lack
not to lose still: thus, Indian-like, [p]Religious in mine error, I
adore [p]The sun, that looks upon his worshipper, [p]But knows of him
no more. My dearest madam, [p]Let not your hate encounter with my
love [p]For loving where you do: but if yourself, [p]Whose aged honour
cites a virtuous youth, [p]Did ever in so true a flame of
liking [p]Wish chastely and love dearly, that your Dian [p]Was both
herself and love: O, then, give pity [p]To her, whose state is such
that cannot choose [p]But lend and give where she is sure to
lose; [p]That seeks not to find that her search implies, [p]But
riddle-like lives sweetly where she dies!

Countess : Had you not lately an intent,--speak truly,-- [p]To go to Paris?

Helena : Madam, I had.

Countess : Wherefore? tell true.

Helena : I will tell truth; by grace itself I swear. [p]You know my father left
me some prescriptions [p]Of rare and proved effects, such as his
reading [p]And manifest experience had collected [p]For general
sovereignty; and that he will'd me [p]In heedfull'st reservation to
bestow them, [p]As notes whose faculties inclusive were [p]More than
they were in note: amongst the rest, [p]There is a remedy, approved,
set down, [p]To cure the desperate languishings whereof [p]The king is
render'd lost.

Countess : This was your motive [p]For Paris, was it? speak.

Helena : My lord your son made me to think of this; [p]Else Paris and the
medicine and the king [p]Had from the conversation of my
thoughts [p]Haply been absent then.

Countess : But think you, Helen, [p]If you should tender your supposed aid, [p]He
would receive it? he and his physicians [p]Are of a mind; he, that
they cannot help him, [p]They, that they cannot help: how shall they
credit [p]A poor unlearned virgin, when the schools, [p]Embowell'd of
their doctrine, have left off [p]The danger to itself?

Helena : There's something in't, [p]More than my father's skill, which was the
greatest [p]Of his profession, that his good receipt [p]Shall for my
legacy be sanctified [p]By the luckiest stars in heaven: and, would
your honour [p]But give me leave to try success, I'ld venture [p]The
well-lost life of mine on his grace's cure [p]By such a day and hour.

Countess : Dost thou believe't?

Helena : Ay, madam, knowingly.

Countess : Why, Helen, thou shalt have my leave and love, [p]Means and attendants
and my loving greetings [p]To those of mine in court: I'll stay at
home [p]And pray God's blessing into thy attempt: [p]Be gone
to-morrow; and be sure of this, [p]What I can help thee to thou shalt
not miss.

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