All's Well That Ends Well by William Shakespeare
Act 3 - Scene 2
Rousillon. The COUNT’s palace.
Countess : It hath happened all as I would have had it, save
[p]that he comes not
along with her.
Clown : By my troth, I take my young lord to be a very
[p]melancholy man.
Countess : By what observance, I pray you?
Clown : Why, he will look upon his boot and sing; mend the
[p]ruff and sing;
ask questions and sing; pick his
[p]teeth and sing. I know a man that
had this trick of
[p]melancholy sold a goodly manor for a song.
Countess : Let me see what he writes, and when he means to come.
Clown : I have no mind to Isbel since I was at court: our
[p]old ling and our
Isbels o' the country are nothing
[p]like your old ling and your
Isbels o' the court:
[p]the brains of my Cupid's knocked out, and I
begin to
[p]love, as an old man loves money, with no stomach.
Countess : What have we here?
Clown : E'en that you have there.
Countess : [Reads] I have sent you a daughter-in-law: she hath
[p]recovered the
king, and undone me. I have wedded
[p]her, not bedded her; and sworn
to make the 'not'
[p]eternal. You shall hear I am run away: know
it
[p]before the report come. If there be breadth enough
[p]in the
world, I will hold a long distance. My duty
[p]to you.. Your
unfortunate son,
[p]BERTRAM.
[p]This is not well, rash and unbridled
boy.
[p]To fly the favours of so good a king;
[p]To pluck his
indignation on thy head
[p]By the misprising of a maid too
virtuous
[p]For the contempt of empire.
Clown : O madam, yonder is heavy news within between two
[p]soldiers and my
young lady!
Countess : What is the matter?
Clown : Nay, there is some comfort in the news, some
[p]comfort; your son will
not be killed so soon as I
[p]thought he would.
Countess : Why should he be killed?
Clown : So say I, madam, if he run away, as I hear he does:
[p]the danger is
in standing to't; that's the loss of
[p]men, though it be the getting
of children. Here
[p]they come will tell you more: for my part, I
only
[p]hear your son was run away.
First Gentleman : Save you, good madam.
Helena : Madam, my lord is gone, for ever gone.
Second Gentleman : Do not say so.
Countess : Think upon patience. Pray you, gentlemen,
[p]I have felt so many
quirks of joy and grief,
[p]That the first face of neither, on the
start,
[p]Can woman me unto't: where is my son, I pray you?
Second Gentleman : Madam, he's gone to serve the duke of Florence:
[p]We met him
thitherward; for thence we came,
[p]And, after some dispatch in hand
at court,
[p]Thither we bend again.
Helena : Look on his letter, madam; here's my passport.
[p][Reads]
[p]When thou
canst get the ring upon my finger which
[p]never shall come off, and
show me a child begotten
[p]of thy body that I am father to, then call
me
[p]husband: but in such a 'then' I write a 'never.'
[p]This is a
dreadful sentence.
Countess : Brought you this letter, gentlemen?
First Gentleman : Ay, madam;
[p]And for the contents' sake are sorry for our pain.
Countess : I prithee, lady, have a better cheer;
[p]If thou engrossest all the
griefs are thine,
[p]Thou robb'st me of a moiety: he was my
son;
[p]But I do wash his name out of my blood,
[p]And thou art all my
child. Towards Florence is he?
Second Gentleman : Ay, madam.
Countess : And to be a soldier?
Second Gentleman : Such is his noble purpose; and believe 't,
[p]The duke will lay upon
him all the honour
[p]That good convenience claims.
Countess : Return you thither?
First Gentleman : Ay, madam, with the swiftest wing of speed.
Helena : [Reads] Till I have no wife I have nothing in France.
[p]'Tis bitter.
Countess : Find you that there?
Helena : Ay, madam.
First Gentleman : 'Tis but the boldness of his hand, haply, which his
[p]heart was not
consenting to.
Countess : Nothing in France, until he have no wife!
[p]There's nothing here that
is too good for him
[p]But only she; and she deserves a lord
[p]That
twenty such rude boys might tend upon
[p]And call her hourly mistress.
Who was with him?
First Gentleman : A servant only, and a gentleman
[p]Which I have sometime known.
Countess : Parolles, was it not?
First Gentleman : Ay, my good lady, he.
Countess : A very tainted fellow, and full of wickedness.
[p]My son corrupts a
well-derived nature
[p]With his inducement.
First Gentleman : Indeed, good lady,
[p]The fellow has a deal of that too much,
[p]Which
holds him much to have.
Countess : You're welcome, gentlemen.
[p]I will entreat you, when you see my
son,
[p]To tell him that his sword can never win
[p]The honour that he
loses: more I'll entreat you
[p]Written to bear along.
Second Gentleman : We serve you, madam,
[p]In that and all your worthiest affairs.
Countess : Not so, but as we change our courtesies.
[p]Will you draw near!
Helena : 'Till I have no wife, I have nothing in France.'
[p]Nothing in France,
until he has no wife!
[p]Thou shalt have none, Rousillon, none in
France;
[p]Then hast thou all again. Poor lord! is't I
[p]That chase
thee from thy country and expose
[p]Those tender limbs of thine to the
event
[p]Of the none-sparing war? and is it I
[p]That drive thee from
the sportive court, where thou
[p]Wast shot at with fair eyes, to be
the mark
[p]Of smoky muskets? O you leaden messengers,
[p]That ride
upon the violent speed of fire,
[p]Fly with false aim; move the
still-peering air,
[p]That sings with piercing; do not touch my
lord.
[p]Whoever shoots at him, I set him there;
[p]Whoever charges on
his forward breast,
[p]I am the caitiff that do hold him to't;
[p]And,
though I kill him not, I am the cause
[p]His death was so effected:
better 'twere
[p]I met the ravin lion when he roar'd
[p]With sharp
constraint of hunger; better 'twere
[p]That all the miseries which
nature owes
[p]Were mine at once. No, come thou home,
Rousillon,
[p]Whence honour but of danger wins a scar,
[p]As oft it
loses all: I will be gone;
[p]My being here it is that holds thee
hence:
[p]Shall I stay here to do't? no, no, although
[p]The air of
paradise did fan the house
[p]And angels officed all: I will be
gone,
[p]That pitiful rumour may report my flight,
[p]To consolate
thine ear. Come, night; end, day!
[p]For with the dark, poor thief,
I'll steal away.
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