As You Like It by William Shakespeare
Act 5 - Scene 1
The forest
(stage directions) : Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY
Touchstone : We shall find a time, Audrey; patience, gentle Audrey.
Audrey : Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old
[p]gentleman's
saying.
Touchstone : A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile Martext.
[p]But, Audrey,
there is a youth here in the forest lays claim to
[p]you.
Audrey : Ay, I know who 'tis; he hath no interest in me in the
[p]world; here
comes the man you mean.
(stage directions) : Enter WILLIAM
Touchstone : It is meat and drink to me to see a clown. By my troth,
[p]we that
have good wits have much to answer for: we shall be
[p]flouting; we
cannot hold.
William : Good ev'n, Audrey.
Audrey : God ye good ev'n, William.
William : And good ev'n to you, sir.
Touchstone : Good ev'n, gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover thy
[p]head; nay,
prithee be cover'd. How old are you, friend?
William : Five and twenty, sir.
Touchstone : A ripe age. Is thy name William?
William : William, sir.
Touchstone : A fair name. Wast born i' th' forest here?
William : Ay, sir, I thank God.
Touchstone : 'Thank God.' A good answer.
[p]Art rich?
William : Faith, sir, so so.
Touchstone : 'So so' is good, very good, very excellent good; and
[p]yet it is not;
it is but so so. Art thou wise?
William : Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.
Touchstone : Why, thou say'st well. I do now remember a saying: 'The
[p]fool doth
think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be
[p]a fool.' The
heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat a
[p]grape, would
open his lips when he put it into his mouth; meaning
[p]thereby that
grapes were made to eat and lips to open. You do
[p]love this maid?
William : I do, sir.
Touchstone : Give me your hand. Art thou learned?
William : No, sir.
Touchstone : Then learn this of me: to have is to have; for it is a
[p]figure in
rhetoric that drink, being pour'd out of cup into a
[p]glass, by
filling the one doth empty the other; for all your
[p]writers do
consent that ipse is he; now, you are not ipse, for I
[p]am he.
William : Which he, sir?
Touchstone : He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you
[p]clown, abandon-
which is in the vulgar leave- the society- which
[p]in the boorish is
company- of this female- which in the common is
[p]woman- which
together is: abandon the society of this female; or,
[p]clown, thou
perishest; or, to thy better understanding, diest;
[p]or, to wit, I
kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life into
[p]death, thy
liberty into bondage. I will deal in poison with thee,
[p]or in
bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy with thee in faction;
[p]will
o'er-run thee with policy; I will kill thee a hundred and
[p]fifty
ways; therefore tremble and depart.
Audrey : Do, good William.
William : God rest you merry, sir. Exit
(stage directions) : Enter CORIN
Corin : Our master and mistress seeks you; come away, away.
Touchstone : Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey. I attend, I attend.
(stage directions) : Exeunt
Previous: Act 4 - Scene 3
Next: Act 5 - Scene 2
