Comedy of Errors by William Shakespeare
Act 1 - Scene 2
The Mart.
First Merchant : Therefore give out you are of Epidamnum,
[p]Lest that your goods too
soon be confiscate.
[p]This very day a Syracusian merchant
[p]Is
apprehended for arrival here;
[p]And not being able to buy out his
life
[p]According to the statute of the town,
[p]Dies ere the weary
sun set in the west.
[p]There is your money that I had to keep.
Antipholus of Syracuse : Go bear it to the Centaur, where we host,
[p]And stay there, Dromio,
till I come to thee.
[p]Within this hour it will be
dinner-time:
[p]Till that, I'll view the manners of the
town,
[p]Peruse the traders, gaze upon the buildings,
[p]And then
return and sleep within mine inn,
[p]For with long travel I am stiff
and weary.
[p]Get thee away.
Dromio of Syracuse : Many a man would take you at your word,
[p]And go indeed, having so
good a mean.
Antipholus of Syracuse : A trusty villain, sir, that very oft,
[p]When I am dull with care and
melancholy,
[p]Lightens my humour with his merry jests.
[p]What, will
you walk with me about the town,
[p]And then go to my inn and dine
with me?
First Merchant : I am invited, sir, to certain merchants,
[p]Of whom I hope to make
much benefit;
[p]I crave your pardon. Soon at five o'clock,
[p]Please
you, I'll meet with you upon the mart
[p]And afterward consort you
till bed-time:
[p]My present business calls me from you now.
Antipholus of Syracuse : Farewell till then: I will go lose myself
[p]And wander up and down to
view the city.
First Merchant : Sir, I commend you to your own content.
Antipholus of Syracuse : He that commends me to mine own content
[p]Commends me to the thing I
cannot get.
[p]I to the world am like a drop of water
[p]That in the
ocean seeks another drop,
[p]Who, falling there to find his fellow
forth,
[p]Unseen, inquisitive, confounds himself:
[p]So I, to find a
mother and a brother,
[p]In quest of them, unhappy, lose
myself.
[p][Enter DROMIO of Ephesus]
[p]Here comes the almanac of my
true date.
[p]What now? how chance thou art return'd so soon?
Dromio of Ephesus : Return'd so soon! rather approach'd too late:
[p]The capon burns, the
pig falls from the spit,
[p]The clock hath strucken twelve upon the
bell;
[p]My mistress made it one upon my cheek:
[p]She is so hot
because the meat is cold;
[p]The meat is cold because you come not
home;
[p]You come not home because you have no stomach;
[p]You have no
stomach having broke your fast;
[p]But we that know what 'tis to fast
and pray
[p]Are penitent for your default to-day.
Antipholus of Syracuse : Stop in your wind, sir: tell me this, I pray:
[p]Where have you left
the money that I gave you?
Dromio of Ephesus : O,--sixpence, that I had o' Wednesday last
[p]To pay the saddler for
my mistress' crupper?
[p]The saddler had it, sir; I kept it not.
Antipholus of Syracuse : I am not in a sportive humour now:
[p]Tell me, and dally not, where is
the money?
[p]We being strangers here, how darest thou trust
[p]So
great a charge from thine own custody?
Dromio of Ephesus : I pray you, air, as you sit at dinner:
[p]I from my mistress come to
you in post;
[p]If I return, I shall be post indeed,
[p]For she will
score your fault upon my pate.
[p]Methinks your maw, like mine, should
be your clock,
[p]And strike you home without a messenger.
Antipholus of Syracuse : Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out of season;
[p]Reserve them
till a merrier hour than this.
[p]Where is the gold I gave in charge
to thee?
Dromio of Ephesus : To me, sir? why, you gave no gold to me.
Antipholus of Syracuse : Come on, sir knave, have done your foolishness,
[p]And tell me how
thou hast disposed thy charge.
Dromio of Ephesus : My charge was but to fetch you from the mart
[p]Home to your house,
the Phoenix, sir, to dinner:
[p]My mistress and her sister stays for
you.
Antipholus of Syracuse : In what safe place you have bestow'd my money,
[p]Or I shall break
that merry sconce of yours
[p]That stands on tricks when I am
undisposed:
[p]Where is the thousand marks thou hadst of me?
Dromio of Ephesus : I have some marks of yours upon my pate,
[p]Some of my mistress' marks
upon my shoulders,
[p]But not a thousand marks between you both.
[p]If
I should pay your worship those again,
[p]Perchance you will not bear
them patiently.
Antipholus of Syracuse : Thy mistress' marks? what mistress, slave, hast thou?
Dromio of Ephesus : Your worship's wife, my mistress at the Phoenix;
[p]She that doth fast
till you come home to dinner,
[p]And prays that you will hie you home
to dinner.
Antipholus of Syracuse : What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my face,
[p]Being forbid? There,
take you that, sir knave.
Dromio of Ephesus : What mean you, sir? for God's sake, hold your hands!
[p]Nay, and you
will not, sir, I'll take my heels.
Antipholus of Syracuse : Upon my life, by some device or other
[p]The villain is o'er-raught of
all my money.
[p]They say this town is full of cozenage,
[p]As, nimble
jugglers that deceive the eye,
[p]Dark-working sorcerers that change
the mind,
[p]Soul-killing witches that deform the body,
[p]Disguised
cheaters, prating mountebanks,
[p]And many such-like liberties of
sin:
[p]If it prove so, I will be gone the sooner.
[p]I'll to the
Centaur, to go seek this slave:
[p]I greatly fear my money is not
safe.
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