Comedy of Errors by William Shakespeare
Act 2 - Scene 1
The house of ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus.
Adriana : Neither my husband nor the slave return'd,
[p]That in such haste I
sent to seek his master!
[p]Sure, Luciana, it is two o'clock.
Luciana : Perhaps some merchant hath invited him,
[p]And from the mart he's
somewhere gone to dinner.
[p]Good sister, let us dine and never
fret:
[p]A man is master of his liberty:
[p]Time is their master, and,
when they see time,
[p]They'll go or come: if so, be patient, sister.
Adriana : Why should their liberty than ours be more?
Luciana : Because their business still lies out o' door.
Adriana : Look, when I serve him so, he takes it ill.
Luciana : O, know he is the bridle of your will.
Adriana : There's none but asses will be bridled so.
Luciana : Why, headstrong liberty is lash'd with woe.
[p]There's nothing situate
under heaven's eye
[p]But hath his bound, in earth, in sea, in
sky:
[p]The beasts, the fishes, and the winged fowls,
[p]Are their
males' subjects and at their controls:
[p]Men, more divine, the
masters of all these,
[p]Lords of the wide world and wild watery
seas,
[p]Indued with intellectual sense and souls,
[p]Of more
preeminence than fish and fowls,
[p]Are masters to their females, and
their lords:
[p]Then let your will attend on their accords.
Adriana : This servitude makes you to keep unwed.
Luciana : Not this, but troubles of the marriage-bed.
Adriana : But, were you wedded, you would bear some sway.
Luciana : Ere I learn love, I'll practise to obey.
Adriana : How if your husband start some other where?
Luciana : Till he come home again, I would forbear.
Adriana : Patience unmoved! no marvel though she pause;
[p]They can be meek that
have no other cause.
[p]A wretched soul, bruised with adversity,
[p]We
bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
[p]But were we burdened with like
weight of pain,
[p]As much or more would we ourselves complain:
[p]So
thou, that hast no unkind mate to grieve thee,
[p]With urging helpless
patience wouldst relieve me,
[p]But, if thou live to see like right
bereft,
[p]This fool-begg'd patience in thee will be left.
Luciana : Well, I will marry one day, but to try.
[p]Here comes your man; now is
your husband nigh.
Adriana : Say, is your tardy master now at hand?
Dromio of Ephesus : Nay, he's at two hands with me, and that my two ears
[p]can witness.
Adriana : Say, didst thou speak with him? know'st thou his mind?
Dromio of Ephesus : Ay, ay, he told his mind upon mine ear:
[p]Beshrew his hand, I scarce
could understand it.
Luciana : Spake he so doubtfully, thou couldst not feel his meaning?
Dromio of Ephesus : Nay, he struck so plainly, I could too well feel his
[p]blows; and
withal so doubtfully that I could scarce
[p]understand them.
Adriana : But say, I prithee, is he coming home? It seems he
[p]hath great care
to please his wife.
Dromio of Ephesus : Why, mistress, sure my master is horn-mad.
Adriana : Horn-mad, thou villain!
Dromio of Ephesus : I mean not cuckold-mad;
[p]But, sure, he is stark mad.
[p]When I
desired him to come home to dinner,
[p]He ask'd me for a thousand
marks in gold:
[p]''Tis dinner-time,' quoth I; 'My gold!' quoth
he;
[p]'Your meat doth burn,' quoth I; 'My gold!' quoth he:
[p]'Will
you come home?' quoth I; 'My gold!' quoth he.
[p]'Where is the
thousand marks I gave thee, villain?'
[p]'The pig,' quoth I, 'is
burn'd;' 'My gold!' quoth he:
[p]'My mistress, sir' quoth I; 'Hang up
thy mistress!
[p]I know not thy mistress; out on thy mistress!'
Luciana : Quoth who?
Dromio of Ephesus : Quoth my master:
[p]'I know,' quoth he, 'no house, no wife, no
mistress.'
[p]So that my errand, due unto my tongue,
[p]I thank him, I
bare home upon my shoulders;
[p]For, in conclusion, he did beat me
there.
Adriana : Go back again, thou slave, and fetch him home.
Dromio of Ephesus : Go back again, and be new beaten home?
[p]For God's sake, send some
other messenger.
Adriana : Back, slave, or I will break thy pate across.
Dromio of Ephesus : And he will bless that cross with other beating:
[p]Between you I
shall have a holy head.
Adriana : Hence, prating peasant! fetch thy master home.
Dromio of Ephesus : Am I so round with you as you with me,
[p]That like a football you do
spurn me thus?
[p]You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me
hither:
[p]If I last in this service, you must case me in leather.
Luciana : Fie, how impatience loureth in your face!
Adriana : His company must do his minions grace,
[p]Whilst I at home starve for
a merry look.
[p]Hath homely age the alluring beauty took
[p]From my
poor cheek? then he hath wasted it:
[p]Are my discourses dull? barren
my wit?
[p]If voluble and sharp discourse be marr'd,
[p]Unkindness
blunts it more than marble hard:
[p]Do their gay vestments his
affections bait?
[p]That's not my fault: he's master of my
state:
[p]What ruins are in me that can be found,
[p]By him not
ruin'd? then is he the ground
[p]Of my defeatures. My decayed
fair
[p]A sunny look of his would soon repair
[p]But, too unruly deer,
he breaks the pale
[p]And feeds from home; poor I am but his stale.
Luciana : Self-harming jealousy! fie, beat it hence!
Adriana : Unfeeling fools can with such wrongs dispense.
[p]I know his eye doth
homage otherwhere,
[p]Or else what lets it but he would be
here?
[p]Sister, you know he promised me a chain;
[p]Would that alone,
alone he would detain,
[p]So he would keep fair quarter with his
bed!
[p]I see the jewel best enamelled
[p]Will lose his beauty; yet
the gold bides still,
[p]That others touch, and often touching
will
[p]Wear gold: and no man that hath a name,
[p]By falsehood and
corruption doth it shame.
[p]Since that my beauty cannot please his
eye,
[p]I'll weep what's left away, and weeping die.
Luciana : How many fond fools serve mad jealousy!
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