Comedy of Errors by William Shakespeare
Act 4 - Scene 4
A street.
Antipholus of Ephesus : Fear me not, man; I will not break away:
[p]I'll give thee, ere I
leave thee, so much money,
[p]To warrant thee, as I am 'rested
for.
[p]My wife is in a wayward mood to-day,
[p]And will not lightly
trust the messenger
[p]That I should be attach'd in Ephesus,
[p]I tell
you, 'twill sound harshly in her ears.
[p][Enter DROMIO of Ephesus
with a rope's-end]
[p]Here comes my man; I think he brings the
money.
[p]How now, sir! have you that I sent you for?
Dromio of Ephesus : Here's that, I warrant you, will pay them all.
Antipholus of Ephesus : But where's the money?
Dromio of Ephesus : Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope.
Antipholus of Ephesus : Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope?
Dromio of Ephesus : I'll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate.
Antipholus of Ephesus : To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?
Dromio of Ephesus : To a rope's-end, sir; and to that end am I returned.
Antipholus of Ephesus : And to that end, sir, I will welcome you.
Officer : Good sir, be patient.
Dromio of Ephesus : Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity.
Officer : Good, now, hold thy tongue.
Dromio of Ephesus : Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands.
Antipholus of Ephesus : Thou whoreson, senseless villain!
Dromio of Ephesus : I would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel
[p]your blows.
Antipholus of Ephesus : Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an
[p]ass.
Dromio of Ephesus : I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long
[p]ears. I have
served him from the hour of my
[p]nativity to this instant, and have
nothing at his
[p]hands for my service but blows. When I am cold,
he
[p]heats me with beating; when I am warm, he cools me
[p]with
beating; I am waked with it when I sleep;
[p]raised with it when I
sit; driven out of doors with
[p]it when I go from home; welcomed home
with it when
[p]I return; nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as
a
[p]beggar wont her brat; and, I think when he hath
[p]lamed me, I
shall beg with it from door to door.
Antipholus of Ephesus : Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder.
Dromio of Ephesus : Mistress, 'respice finem,' respect your end; or
[p]rather, the
prophecy like the parrot, 'beware the
[p]rope's-end.'
Antipholus of Ephesus : Wilt thou still talk?
Courtezan : How say you now? is not your husband mad?
Adriana : His incivility confirms no less.
[p]Good Doctor Pinch, you are a
conjurer;
[p]Establish him in his true sense again,
[p]And I will
please you what you will demand.
Luciana : Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks!
Courtezan : Mark how he trembles in his ecstasy!
Pinch : Give me your hand and let me feel your pulse.
Antipholus of Ephesus : There is my hand, and let it feel your ear.
Pinch : I charge thee, Satan, housed within this man,
[p]To yield possession
to my holy prayers
[p]And to thy state of darkness hie thee
straight:
[p]I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven!
Antipholus of Ephesus : Peace, doting wizard, peace! I am not mad.
Adriana : O, that thou wert not, poor distressed soul!
Antipholus of Ephesus : You minion, you, are these your customers?
[p]Did this companion with
the saffron face
[p]Revel and feast it at my house to-day,
[p]Whilst
upon me the guilty doors were shut
[p]And I denied to enter in my
house?
Adriana : O husband, God doth know you dined at home;
[p]Where would you had
remain'd until this time,
[p]Free from these slanders and this open
shame!
Antipholus of Ephesus : Dined at home! Thou villain, what sayest thou?
Dromio of Ephesus : Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home.
Antipholus of Ephesus : Were not my doors lock'd up and I shut out?
Dromio of Ephesus : Perdie, your doors were lock'd and you shut out.
Antipholus of Ephesus : And did not she herself revile me there?
Dromio of Ephesus : Sans fable, she herself reviled you there.
Antipholus of Ephesus : Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and scorn me?
Dromio of Ephesus : Certes, she did; the kitchen-vestal scorn'd you.
Antipholus of Ephesus : And did not I in rage depart from thence?
Dromio of Ephesus : In verity you did; my bones bear witness,
[p]That since have felt the
vigour of his rage.
Adriana : Is't good to soothe him in these contraries?
Pinch : It is no shame: the fellow finds his vein,
[p]And yielding to him
humours well his frenzy.
Antipholus of Ephesus : Thou hast suborn'd the goldsmith to arrest me.
Adriana : Alas, I sent you money to redeem you,
[p]By Dromio here, who came in
haste for it.
Dromio of Ephesus : Money by me! heart and goodwill you might;
[p]But surely master, not a
rag of money.
Antipholus of Ephesus : Went'st not thou to her for a purse of ducats?
Adriana : He came to me and I deliver'd it.
Luciana : And I am witness with her that she did.
Dromio of Ephesus : God and the rope-maker bear me witness
[p]That I was sent for nothing
but a rope!
Pinch : Mistress, both man and master is possess'd;
[p]I know it by their pale
and deadly looks:
[p]They must be bound and laid in some dark room.
Antipholus of Ephesus : Say, wherefore didst thou lock me forth to-day?
[p]And why dost thou
deny the bag of gold?
Adriana : I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth.
Dromio of Ephesus : And, gentle master, I received no gold;
[p]But I confess, sir, that we
were lock'd out.
Adriana : Dissembling villain, thou speak'st false in both.
Antipholus of Ephesus : Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all;
[p]And art confederate with
a damned pack
[p]To make a loathsome abject scorn of me:
[p]But with
these nails I'll pluck out these false eyes
[p]That would behold in me
this shameful sport.
[p][Enter three or four, and offer to bind
him.]
[p]He strives]
Adriana : O, bind him, bind him! let him not come near me.
Pinch : More company! The fiend is strong within him.
Luciana : Ay me, poor man, how pale and wan he looks!
Antipholus of Ephesus : What, will you murder me? Thou gaoler, thou,
[p]I am thy prisoner:
wilt thou suffer them
[p]To make a rescue?
Officer : Masters, let him go
[p]He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him.
Pinch : Go bind this man, for he is frantic too.
Adriana : What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer?
[p]Hast thou delight to see a
wretched man
[p]Do outrage and displeasure to himself?
Officer : He is my prisoner: if I let him go,
[p]The debt he owes will be
required of me.
Adriana : I will discharge thee ere I go from thee:
[p]Bear me forthwith unto
his creditor,
[p]And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay
it.
[p]Good master doctor, see him safe convey'd
[p]Home to my house.
O most unhappy day!
Antipholus of Ephesus : O most unhappy strumpet!
Dromio of Ephesus : Master, I am here entered in bond for you.
Antipholus of Ephesus : Out on thee, villain! wherefore dost thou mad me?
Dromio of Ephesus : Will you be bound for nothing? be mad, good master:
[p]cry 'The
devil!'
Luciana : God help, poor souls, how idly do they talk!
Adriana : Go bear him hence. Sister, go you with me.
[p][Exeunt all but Adriana,
Luciana, Officer and]
[p]Courtezan]
[p]Say now, whose suit is he
arrested at?
Officer : One Angelo, a goldsmith: do you know him?
Adriana : I know the man. What is the sum he owes?
Officer : Two hundred ducats.
Adriana : Say, how grows it due?
Officer : Due for a chain your husband had of him.
Adriana : He did bespeak a chain for me, but had it not.
Courtezan : When as your husband all in rage to-day
[p]Came to my house and took
away my ring--
[p]The ring I saw upon his finger now--
[p]Straight
after did I meet him with a chain.
Adriana : It may be so, but I did never see it.
[p]Come, gaoler, bring me where
the goldsmith is:
[p]I long to know the truth hereof at
large.
[p][Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse with his rapier drawn,]
[p]and
DROMIO of Syracuse]
Luciana : God, for thy mercy! they are loose again.
Adriana : And come with naked swords.
[p]Let's call more help to have them bound
again.
Officer : Away! they'll kill us.
[p][Exeunt all but Antipholus of Syracuse and
Dromio]
[p]of Syracuse]
Antipholus of Syracuse : I see these witches are afraid of swords.
Dromio of Syracuse : She that would be your wife now ran from you.
Antipholus of Syracuse : Come to the Centaur; fetch our stuff from thence:
[p]I long that we
were safe and sound aboard.
Dromio of Syracuse : Faith, stay here this night; they will surely do us
[p]no harm: you
saw they speak us fair, give us gold:
[p]methinks they are such a
gentle nation that, but for
[p]the mountain of mad flesh that claims
marriage of
[p]me, I could find in my heart to stay here still
and
[p]turn witch.
Antipholus of Syracuse : I will not stay to-night for all the town;
[p]Therefore away, to get
our stuff aboard.
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Next: Act 5 - Scene 1
