Hamlet by William Shakespeare

Act 3 - Scene 2

Elsinore. hall in the Castle.

Hamlet : Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounc'd it to you, [p]trippingly
on the tongue. But if you mouth it, as many of our [p]players do, I
had as live the town crier spoke my lines. Nor do [p]not saw the air
too much with your hand, thus, but use all [p]gently; for in the very
torrent, tempest, and (as I may say) [p]whirlwind of your passion, you
must acquire and beget a [p]temperance that may give it smoothness. O,
it offends me to the [p]soul to hear a robustious periwig-pated fellow
tear a passion to [p]tatters, to very rags, to split the cars of the
groundlings, who [p](for the most part) are capable of nothing but
inexplicable dumb [p]shows and noise. I would have such a fellow
whipp'd for o'erdoing [p]Termagant. It out-herods Herod. Pray you
avoid it.

First Player : I warrant your honour.

Hamlet : Be not too tame neither; but let your own discretion be your [p]tutor.
Suit the action to the word, the word to the action; with [p]this
special observance, that you o'erstep not the modesty of [p]nature:
for anything so overdone is from the purpose of playing, [p]whose
end, both at the first and now, was and is, to hold, as [p]'twere, the
mirror up to nature; to show Virtue her own feature, [p]scorn her own
image, and the very age and body of the time his [p]form and pressure.
Now this overdone, or come tardy off, though [p]it make the unskilful
laugh, cannot but make the judicious [p]grieve; the censure of the
which one must in your allowance [p]o'erweigh a whole theatre of
others. O, there be players that I [p]have seen play, and heard others
praise, and that highly (not to [p]speak it profanely), that, neither
having the accent of [p]Christians, nor the gait of Christian, pagan,
nor man, have so [p]strutted and bellowed that I have thought some of
Nature's [p]journeymen had made men, and not made them well, they
imitated [p]humanity so abominably.

First Player : I hope we have reform'd that indifferently with us, sir.

Hamlet : O, reform it altogether! And let those that play your clowns [p]speak
no more than is set down for them. For there be of them [p]that will
themselves laugh, to set on some quantity of barren [p]spectators to
laugh too, though in the mean time some necessary [p]question of the
play be then to be considered. That's villanous [p]and shows a most
pitiful ambition in the fool that uses it. Go [p]make you
ready. [p][Exeunt Players.] [p][Enter Polonius, Rosencrantz, and
Guildenstern.] [p]How now, my lord? Will the King hear this piece of
work?

Polonius : And the Queen too, and that presently.

Hamlet : Bid the players make haste, [Exit Polonius.] Will you two [p]help to
hasten them?

Rosencrantz : [with Guildenstern] We will, my lord.

Hamlet : What, ho, Horatio!

Horatio : Here, sweet lord, at your service.

Hamlet : Horatio, thou art e'en as just a man [p]As e'er my conversation cop'd
withal.

Horatio : O, my dear lord!

Hamlet : Nay, do not think I flatter; [p]For what advancement may I hope from
thee, [p]That no revenue hast but thy good spirits [p]To feed and
clothe thee? Why should the poor be flatter'd? [p]No, let the candied
tongue lick absurd pomp, [p]And crook the pregnant hinges of the
knee [p]Where thrift may follow fawning. Dost thou hear? [p]Since my
dear soul was mistress of her choice [p]And could of men distinguish,
her election [p]Hath seal'd thee for herself. For thou hast been [p]As
one, in suff'ring all, that suffers nothing; [p]A man that Fortune's
buffets and rewards [p]Hast ta'en with equal thanks; and blest are
those [p]Whose blood and judgment are so well commingled [p]That they
are not a pipe for Fortune's finger [p]To sound what stop she please.
Give me that man [p]That is not passion's slave, and I will wear
him [p]In my heart's core, ay, in my heart of heart, [p]As I do thee.
Something too much of this I [p]There is a play to-night before the
King. [p]One scene of it comes near the circumstance, [p]Which I have
told thee, of my father's death. [p]I prithee, when thou seest that
act afoot, [p]Even with the very comment of thy soul [p]Observe my
uncle. If his occulted guilt [p]Do not itself unkennel in one
speech, [p]It is a damned ghost that we have seen, [p]And my
imaginations are as foul [p]As Vulcan's stithy. Give him heedful
note; [p]For I mine eyes will rivet to his face, [p]And after we will
both our judgments join [p]In censure of his seeming.

Horatio : Well, my lord. [p]If he steal aught the whilst this play is
playing, [p]And scape detecting, I will pay the theft. [p]Sound a
flourish. [Enter Trumpets and Kettledrums. Danish [p]march. [Enter
King, Queen, Polonius, Ophelia, Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, and other
Lords attendant, with the Guard carrying torches.

Hamlet : They are coming to the play. I must be idle. [p]Get you a place.

Claudius : How fares our cousin Hamlet?

Hamlet : Excellent, i' faith; of the chameleon's dish. I eat the
air, [p]promise-cramm'd. You cannot feed capons so.

Claudius : I have nothing with this answer, Hamlet. These words are not [p]mine.

Hamlet : No, nor mine now. [To Polonius] My lord, you play'd once [p]i' th'
university, you say?

Polonius : That did I, my lord, and was accounted a good actor.

Hamlet : What did you enact?

Polonius : I did enact Julius Caesar; I was kill'd i' th' Capitol;
Brutus [p]kill'd me.

Hamlet : It was a brute part of him to kill so capital a calf there. Be [p]the
players ready.

Rosencrantz : Ay, my lord. They stay upon your patience.

Gertrude : Come hither, my dear Hamlet, sit by me.

Hamlet : No, good mother. Here's metal more attractive.

Polonius : [to the King] O, ho! do you mark that?

Hamlet : Lady, shall I lie in your lap?

Ophelia : No, my lord.

Hamlet : I mean, my head upon your lap?

Ophelia : Ay, my lord.

Hamlet : Do you think I meant country matters?

Ophelia : I think nothing, my lord.

Hamlet : That's a fair thought to lie between maids' legs.

Ophelia : What is, my lord?

Hamlet : Nothing.

Ophelia : You are merry, my lord.

Hamlet : Who, I?

Ophelia : Ay, my lord.

Hamlet : O God, your only jig-maker! What should a man do but be merry? [p]For
look you how cheerfully my mother looks, and my father died [p]within
's two hours.

Ophelia : Nay 'tis twice two months, my lord.

Hamlet : So long? Nay then, let the devil wear black, for I'll have a [p]suit
of sables. O heavens! die two months ago, and not forgotten [p]yet?
Then there's hope a great man's memory may outlive his life [p]half a
year. But, by'r Lady, he must build churches then; or else [p]shall he
suffer not thinking on, with the hobby-horse, whose [p]epitaph is 'For
O, for O, the hobby-horse is forgot!' [p][Hautboys play. The dumb show
enters.] [p]Enter a King and a Queen very lovingly; the Queen
embracing [p]him and he her. She kneels, and makes show of
protestation [p]unto him. He takes her up, and declines his head upon
her [p]neck. He lays him down upon a bank of flowers. She,
seeing [p]him asleep, leaves him. Anon comes in a fellow, takes off
his [p]crown, kisses it, pours poison in the sleeper's ears,
and [p]leaves him. The Queen returns, finds the King dead, and
makes [p]passionate action. The Poisoner with some three or four
Mutes, [p]comes in again, seem to condole with her. The dead body
is [p]carried away. The Poisoner wooes the Queen with gifts;
she [p]seems harsh and unwilling awhile, but in the end accepts [p]his
love.

Ophelia : What means this, my lord?

Hamlet : Marry, this is miching malhecho; it means mischief.

Ophelia : Belike this show imports the argument of the play.

Hamlet : We shall know by this fellow. The players cannot keep
counsel; [p]they'll tell all.

Ophelia : Will he tell us what this show meant?

Hamlet : Ay, or any show that you'll show him. Be not you asham'd to [p]show,
he'll not shame to tell you what it means.

Ophelia : You are naught, you are naught! I'll mark the play. [p]Pro. For us,
and for our tragedy, [p] Here stooping to your clemency, [p] We beg
your hearing patiently. [Exit.]

Hamlet : Is this a prologue, or the posy of a ring?

Ophelia : 'Tis brief, my lord.

Hamlet : As woman's love.

Claudius : Full thirty times hath Phoebus' cart gone round [p] Neptune's salt
wash and Tellus' orbed ground, [p] And thirty dozen moons with
borrowed sheen [p] About the world have times twelve thirties
been, [p] Since love our hearts, and Hymen did our hands, [p] Unite
comutual in most sacred bands.

Gertrude : So many journeys may the sun and moon [p] Make us again count o'er ere
love be done! [p] But woe is me! you are so sick of late, [p] So far
from cheer and from your former state. [p] That I distrust you. Yet,
though I distrust, [p] Discomfort you, my lord, it nothing must; [p]
For women's fear and love holds quantity, [p] In neither aught, or in
extremity. [p] Now what my love is, proof hath made you know; [p] And
as my love is siz'd, my fear is so. [p] Where love is great, the
littlest doubts are fear; [p] Where little fears grow great, great
love grows there.

Claudius : Faith, I must leave thee, love, and shortly too; [p] My operant
powers their functions leave to do. [p] And thou shalt live in this
fair world behind, [p] Honour'd, belov'd, and haply one as kind [p]
For husband shalt thou-

Gertrude : O, confound the rest! [p] Such love must needs be treason in my
breast. [p] When second husband let me be accurst! [p] None wed the
second but who killed the first.

Hamlet : [aside] Wormwood, wormwood! [p]Queen. The instances that second
marriage move [p] Are base respects of thrift, but none of love. [p] A
second time I kill my husband dead [p] When second husband kisses me
in bed.

Claudius : I do believe you think what now you speak; [p] But what we do
determine oft we break. [p] Purpose is but the slave to memory, [p] Of
violent birth, but poor validity; [p] Which now, like fruit unripe,
sticks on the tree, [p] But fall unshaken when they mellow be. [p]
Most necessary 'tis that we forget [p] To pay ourselves what to
ourselves is debt. [p] What to ourselves in passion we propose, [p]
The passion ending, doth the purpose lose. [p] The violence of either
grief or joy [p] Their own enactures with themselves destroy. [p]
Where joy most revels, grief doth most lament; [p] Grief joys, joy
grieves, on slender accident. [p] This world is not for aye, nor 'tis
not strange [p] That even our loves should with our fortunes
change; [p] For 'tis a question left us yet to prove, [p] Whether love
lead fortune, or else fortune love. [p] The great man down, you mark
his favourite flies, [p] The poor advanc'd makes friends of
enemies; [p] And hitherto doth love on fortune tend, [p] For who not
needs shall never lack a friend, [p] And who in want a hollow friend
doth try, [p] Directly seasons him his enemy. [p] But, orderly to end
where I begun, [p] Our wills and fates do so contrary run [p] That our
devices still are overthrown; [p] Our thoughts are ours, their ends
none of our own. [p] So think thou wilt no second husband wed; [p] But
die thy thoughts when thy first lord is dead.

Gertrude : Nor earth to me give food, nor heaven light, [p] Sport and repose lock
from me day and night, [p] To desperation turn my trust and hope, [p]
An anchor's cheer in prison be my scope, [p] Each opposite that blanks
the face of joy [p] Meet what I would have well, and it destroy, [p]
Both here and hence pursue me lasting strife, [p] If, once a widow,
ever I be wife!

Hamlet : If she should break it now!

Claudius : 'Tis deeply sworn. Sweet, leave me here awhile. [p] My spirits grow
dull, and fain I would beguile [p] The tedious day with
sleep. [p]Queen. Sleep rock thy brain, [p][He] sleeps.] [p]Queen. And
never come mischance between us twain!

Hamlet : Madam, how like you this play?

Gertrude : The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

Hamlet : O, but she'll keep her word.

Claudius : Have you heard the argument? Is there no offence in't?

Hamlet : No, no! They do but jest, poison in jest; no offence i' th' [p]world.

Claudius : What do you call the play?

Hamlet : 'The Mousetrap.' Marry, how? Tropically. This play is the [p]image of
a murther done in Vienna. Gonzago is the duke's name; [p]his wife,
Baptista. You shall see anon. 'Tis a knavish piece of [p]work; but
what o' that? Your Majesty, and we that have free [p]souls, it touches
us not. Let the gall'd jade winch; our withers [p]are unwrung.

Ophelia : You are as good as a chorus, my lord.

Hamlet : I could interpret between you and your love, if I could see [p]the
puppets dallying.

Ophelia : You are keen, my lord, you are keen.

Hamlet : It would cost you a groaning to take off my edge.

Ophelia : Still better, and worse.

Hamlet : So you must take your husbands.- Begin, murtherer. Pox, leave [p]thy
damnable faces, and begin! Come, the croaking raven doth [p]bellow for
revenge. [p]Luc. Thoughts black, hands apt, drugs fit, and time
agreeing; Confederate season, else no creature seeing; Thou mixture
rank, of midnight weeds collected, With Hecate's ban thrice blasted,
thrice infected, Thy natural magic and dire property On wholesome
life usurp immediately.

Hamlet : He poisons him i' th' garden for's estate. His name's Gonzago. [p]The
story is extant, and written in very choice Italian. You [p]shall see
anon how the murtherer gets the love of Gonzago's wife.

Ophelia : The King rises.

Hamlet : What, frighted with false fire?

Gertrude : How fares my lord?

Polonius : Give o'er the play.

Claudius : Give me some light! Away!

All : Lights, lights, lights!

Hamlet : Why, let the strucken deer go weep, [p] The hart ungalled
play; [p] For some must watch, while some must sleep: [p] Thus
runs the world away. [p]Would not this, sir, and a forest of feathers-
if the rest of my [p]fortunes turn Turk with me-with two Provincial
roses on my raz'd [p]shoes, get me a fellowship in a cry of players,
sir?

Horatio : Half a share.

Hamlet : A whole one I! [p] For thou dost know, O Damon dear, [p] This
realm dismantled was [p] Of Jove himself; and now reigns here [p]
A very, very- pajock.

Horatio : You might have rhym'd.

Hamlet : O good Horatio, I'll take the ghost's word for a thousand [p]pound!
Didst perceive?

Horatio : Very well, my lord.

Hamlet : Upon the talk of the poisoning?

Horatio : I did very well note him.

Hamlet : Aha! Come, some music! Come, the recorders! [p] For if the King
like not the comedy, [p] Why then, belike he likes it not,
perdy. [p]Come, some music! [p] Enter Rosencrantz and
Guildenstern.

Guildenstern : Good my lord, vouchsafe me a word with you.

Hamlet : Sir, a whole history.

Guildenstern : The King, sir-

Hamlet : Ay, sir, what of him?

Guildenstern : Is in his retirement, marvellous distemper'd.

Hamlet : With drink, sir?

Guildenstern : No, my lord; rather with choler.

Hamlet : Your wisdom should show itself more richer to signify this to [p]the
doctor; for me to put him to his purgation would perhaps [p]plunge him
into far more choler.

Guildenstern : Good my lord, put your discourse into some frame, and start [p]not so
wildly from my affair.

Hamlet : I am tame, sir; pronounce.

Guildenstern : The Queen, your mother, in most great affliction of spirit [p]hath
sent me to you.

Hamlet : You are welcome.

Guildenstern : Nay, good my lord, this courtesy is not of the right breed. [p]If it
shall please you to make me a wholesome answer, I will do [p]your
mother's commandment; if not, your pardon and my return [p]shall be
the end of my business.

Hamlet : Sir, I cannot.

Guildenstern : What, my lord?

Hamlet : Make you a wholesome answer; my wit's diseas'd. But, sir,
such [p]answer as I can make, you shall command; or rather, as you
say, [p]my mother. Therefore no more, but to the matter! My mother,
you [p]say-

Rosencrantz : Then thus she says: your behaviour hath struck her into [p]amazement
and admiration.

Hamlet : O wonderful son, that can so stonish a mother! But is there
no [p]sequel at the heels of this mother's admiration? Impart.

Rosencrantz : She desires to speak with you in her closet ere you go to bed.

Hamlet : We shall obey, were she ten times our mother. Have you any [p]further
trade with us?

Rosencrantz : My lord, you once did love me.

Hamlet : And do still, by these pickers and stealers!

Rosencrantz : Good my lord, what is your cause of distemper? You do surely [p]bar
the door upon your own liberty, if you deny your griefs to [p]your
friend.

Hamlet : Sir, I lack advancement.

Rosencrantz : How can that be, when you have the voice of the King himself [p]for
your succession in Denmark?

Hamlet : Ay, sir, but 'while the grass grows'- the proverb is
something [p]musty. [p][Enter the Players with recorders. ] [p]O, the
recorders! Let me see one. To withdraw with you- why do [p]you go
about to recover the wind of me, as if you would drive me [p]into a
toil?

Guildenstern : O my lord, if my duty be too bold, my love is too unmannerly.

Hamlet : I do not well understand that. Will you play upon this pipe?

Guildenstern : My lord, I cannot.

Hamlet : I pray you.

Guildenstern : Believe me, I cannot.

Hamlet : I do beseech you.

Guildenstern : I know, no touch of it, my lord.

Hamlet : It is as easy as lying. Govern these ventages with your [p]fingers and
thumbs, give it breath with your mouth, and it will [p]discourse most
eloquent music. Look you, these are the stops.

Guildenstern : But these cannot I command to any utt'rance of harmony. I [p]have not
the skill.

Hamlet : Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of me! You [p]would
play upon me; you would seem to know my stops; you would [p]pluck out
the heart of my mystery; you would sound me from my [p]lowest note to
the top of my compass; and there is much music, [p]excellent voice,
in this little organ, yet cannot you make it [p]speak. 'Sblood, do you
think I am easier to be play'd on than a [p]pipe? Call me what
instrument you will, though you can fret me, [p]you cannot play upon
me. [p][Enter Polonius.] [p]God bless you, sir!

Polonius : My lord, the Queen would speak with you, and presently.

Hamlet : Do you see yonder cloud that's almost in shape of a camel?

Polonius : By th' mass, and 'tis like a camel indeed.

Hamlet : Methinks it is like a weasel.

Polonius : It is back'd like a weasel.

Hamlet : Or like a whale.

Polonius : Very like a whale.

Hamlet : Then will I come to my mother by-and-by.- They fool me to the [p]top
of my bent.- I will come by-and-by.

Polonius : I will say so. Exit.

Hamlet : 'By-and-by' is easily said.- Leave me, friends. [p][Exeunt all but
Hamlet.] [p]'Tis now the very witching time of night, [p]When
churchyards yawn, and hell itself breathes out [p]Contagion to this
world. Now could I drink hot blood [p]And do such bitter business as
the day [p]Would quake to look on. Soft! now to my mother! [p]O heart,
lose not thy nature; let not ever [p]The soul of Nero enter this firm
bosom. [p]Let me be cruel, not unnatural; [p]I will speak daggers to
her, but use none. [p]My tongue and soul in this be hypocrites- [p]How
in my words somever she be shent, [p]To give them seals never, my
soul, consent! Exit.

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