Henry VIII by William Shakespeare
Act 1 - Scene 3
An ante-chamber in the palace.
Lord Chamberlain : Is't possible the spells of France should juggle
[p]Men into such
strange mysteries?
Lord Sands : New customs,
[p]Though they be never so ridiculous,
[p]Nay, let 'em be
unmanly, yet are follow'd.
Lord Chamberlain : As far as I see, all the good our English
[p]Have got by the late
voyage is but merely
[p]A fit or two o' the face; but they are shrewd
ones;
[p]For when they hold 'em, you would swear directly
[p]Their
very noses had been counsellors
[p]To Pepin or Clotharius, they keep
state so.
Lord Sands : They have all new legs, and lame ones: one would take it,
[p]That
never saw 'em pace before, the spavin
[p]Or springhalt reign'd among
'em.
Lord Chamberlain : Death! my lord,
[p]Their clothes are after such a pagan cut
too,
[p]That, sure, they've worn out Christendom.
[p][Enter
LOVELL]
[p]How now!
[p]What news, Sir Thomas Lovell?
Sir Thomas Lovell : Faith, my lord,
[p]I hear of none, but the new proclamation
[p]That's
clapp'd upon the court-gate.
Lord Chamberlain : What is't for?
Sir Thomas Lovell : The reformation of our travell'd gallants,
[p]That fill the court with
quarrels, talk, and tailors.
Lord Chamberlain : I'm glad 'tis there: now I would pray our monsieurs
[p]To think an
English courtier may be wise,
[p]And never see the Louvre.
Sir Thomas Lovell : They must either,
[p]For so run the conditions, leave those
remnants
[p]Of fool and feather that they got in France,
[p]With all
their honourable point of ignorance
[p]Pertaining thereunto, as fights
and fireworks,
[p]Abusing better men than they can be,
[p]Out of a
foreign wisdom, renouncing clean
[p]The faith they have in tennis, and
tall stockings,
[p]Short blister'd breeches, and those types of
travel,
[p]And understand again like honest men;
[p]Or pack to their
old playfellows: there, I take it,
[p]They may, 'cum privilegio,' wear
away
[p]The lag end of their lewdness and be laugh'd at.
Lord Sands : 'Tis time to give 'em physic, their diseases
[p]Are grown so
catching.
Lord Chamberlain : What a loss our ladies
[p]Will have of these trim vanities!
Sir Thomas Lovell : Ay, marry,
[p]There will be woe indeed, lords: the sly
whoresons
[p]Have got a speeding trick to lay down ladies;
[p]A French
song and a fiddle has no fellow.
Lord Sands : The devil fiddle 'em! I am glad they are going,
[p]For, sure, there's
no converting of 'em: now
[p]An honest country lord, as I am,
beaten
[p]A long time out of play, may bring his plainsong
[p]And have
an hour of hearing; and, by'r lady,
[p]Held current music too.
Lord Chamberlain : Well said, Lord Sands;
[p]Your colt's tooth is not cast yet.
Lord Sands : No, my lord;
[p]Nor shall not, while I have a stump.
Lord Chamberlain : Sir Thomas,
[p]Whither were you a-going?
Sir Thomas Lovell : To the cardinal's:
[p]Your lordship is a guest too.
Lord Chamberlain : O, 'tis true:
[p]This night he makes a supper, and a great one,
[p]To
many lords and ladies; there will be
[p]The beauty of this kingdom,
I'll assure you.
Sir Thomas Lovell : That churchman bears a bounteous mind indeed,
[p]A hand as fruitful as
the land that feeds us;
[p]His dews fall every where.
Lord Chamberlain : No doubt he's noble;
[p]He had a black mouth that said other of him.
Lord Sands : He may, my lord; has wherewithal: in him
[p]Sparing would show a worse
sin than ill doctrine:
[p]Men of his way should be most
liberal;
[p]They are set here for examples.
Lord Chamberlain : True, they are so:
[p]But few now give so great ones. My barge
stays;
[p]Your lordship shall along. Come, good Sir Thomas,
[p]We
shall be late else; which I would not be,
[p]For I was spoke to, with
Sir Henry Guildford
[p]This night to be comptrollers.
Lord Sands : I am your lordship's.
Previous: Act 1 - Scene 2
Next: Act 1 - Scene 4
