King John by William Shakespeare

Act 1 - Scene 1

KING JOHN’S palace.

King John : Now, say, Chatillon, what would France with us?

Chatillon : Thus, after greeting, speaks the King of France [p]In my behavior to
the majesty, [p]The borrow'd majesty, of England here.

Queen Elinor : A strange beginning: 'borrow'd majesty!'

King John : Silence, good mother; hear the embassy.

Chatillon : Philip of France, in right and true behalf [p]Of thy deceased brother
Geffrey's son, [p]Arthur Plantagenet, lays most lawful claim [p]To
this fair island and the territories, [p]To Ireland, Poictiers, Anjou,
Touraine, Maine, [p]Desiring thee to lay aside the sword [p]Which
sways usurpingly these several titles, [p]And put these same into
young Arthur's hand, [p]Thy nephew and right royal sovereign.

King John : What follows if we disallow of this?

Chatillon : The proud control of fierce and bloody war, [p]To enforce these rights
so forcibly withheld.

King John : Here have we war for war and blood for blood, [p]Controlment for
controlment: so answer France.

Chatillon : Then take my king's defiance from my mouth, [p]The farthest limit of
my embassy.

King John : Bear mine to him, and so depart in peace: [p]Be thou as lightning in
the eyes of France; [p]For ere thou canst report I will be
there, [p]The thunder of my cannon shall be heard: [p]So hence! Be
thou the trumpet of our wrath [p]And sullen presage of your own
decay. [p]An honourable conduct let him have: [p]Pembroke, look to 't.
Farewell, Chatillon.

Queen Elinor : What now, my son! have I not ever said [p]How that ambitious Constance
would not cease [p]Till she had kindled France and all the
world, [p]Upon the right and party of her son? [p]This might have been
prevented and made whole [p]With very easy arguments of love, [p]Which
now the manage of two kingdoms must [p]With fearful bloody issue
arbitrate.

King John : Our strong possession and our right for us.

Queen Elinor : Your strong possession much more than your right, [p]Or else it must
go wrong with you and me: [p]So much my conscience whispers in your
ear, [p]Which none but heaven and you and I shall hear.

Essex : My liege, here is the strangest controversy [p]Come from country to be
judged by you, [p]That e'er I heard: shall I produce the men?

King John : Let them approach. [p]Our abbeys and our priories shall pay [p]This
expedition's charge. [p][Enter ROBERT and the BASTARD] [p]What men are
you?

Philip the Bastard : Your faithful subject I, a gentleman [p]Born in Northamptonshire and
eldest son, [p]As I suppose, to Robert Faulconbridge, [p]A soldier, by
the honour-giving hand [p]Of Coeur-de-lion knighted in the field.

King John : What art thou?

Faulconbridge : The son and heir to that same Faulconbridge.

King John : Is that the elder, and art thou the heir? [p]You came not of one
mother then, it seems.

Philip the Bastard : Most certain of one mother, mighty king; [p]That is well known; and,
as I think, one father: [p]But for the certain knowledge of that
truth [p]I put you o'er to heaven and to my mother: [p]Of that I
doubt, as all men's children may.

Queen Elinor : Out on thee, rude man! thou dost shame thy mother [p]And wound her
honour with this diffidence.

Philip the Bastard : I, madam? no, I have no reason for it; [p]That is my brother's plea
and none of mine; [p]The which if he can prove, a' pops me out [p]At
least from fair five hundred pound a year: [p]Heaven guard my mother's
honour and my land!

King John : A good blunt fellow. Why, being younger born, [p]Doth he lay claim to
thine inheritance?

Philip the Bastard : I know not why, except to get the land. [p]But once he slander'd me
with bastardy: [p]But whether I be as true begot or no, [p]That still
I lay upon my mother's head, [p]But that I am as well begot, my
liege,-- [p]Fair fall the bones that took the pains for
me!-- [p]Compare our faces and be judge yourself. [p]If old sir Robert
did beget us both [p]And were our father and this son like him, [p]O
old sir Robert, father, on my knee [p]I give heaven thanks I was not
like to thee!

King John : Why, what a madcap hath heaven lent us here!

Queen Elinor : He hath a trick of Coeur-de-lion's face; [p]The accent of his tongue
affecteth him. [p]Do you not read some tokens of my son [p]In the
large composition of this man?

King John : Mine eye hath well examined his parts [p]And finds them perfect
Richard. Sirrah, speak, [p]What doth move you to claim your brother's
land?

Philip the Bastard : Because he hath a half-face, like my father. [p]With half that face
would he have all my land: [p]A half-faced groat five hundred pound a
year!

Faulconbridge : My gracious liege, when that my father lived, [p]Your brother did
employ my father much,--

Philip the Bastard : Well, sir, by this you cannot get my land: [p]Your tale must be how he
employ'd my mother.

Faulconbridge : And once dispatch'd him in an embassy [p]To Germany, there with the
emperor [p]To treat of high affairs touching that time. [p]The
advantage of his absence took the king [p]And in the mean time
sojourn'd at my father's; [p]Where how he did prevail I shame to
speak, [p]But truth is truth: large lengths of seas and
shores [p]Between my father and my mother lay, [p]As I have heard my
father speak himself, [p]When this same lusty gentleman was
got. [p]Upon his death-bed he by will bequeath'd [p]His lands to me,
and took it on his death [p]That this my mother's son was none of
his; [p]And if he were, he came into the world [p]Full fourteen weeks
before the course of time. [p]Then, good my liege, let me have what is
mine, [p]My father's land, as was my father's will.

King John : Sirrah, your brother is legitimate; [p]Your father's wife did after
wedlock bear him, [p]And if she did play false, the fault was
hers; [p]Which fault lies on the hazards of all husbands [p]That marry
wives. Tell me, how if my brother, [p]Who, as you say, took pains to
get this son, [p]Had of your father claim'd this son for his? [p]In
sooth, good friend, your father might have kept [p]This calf bred from
his cow from all the world; [p]In sooth he might; then, if he were my
brother's, [p]My brother might not claim him; nor your
father, [p]Being none of his, refuse him: this concludes; [p]My
mother's son did get your father's heir; [p]Your father's heir must
have your father's land.

Faulconbridge : Shall then my father's will be of no force [p]To dispossess that child
which is not his?

Philip the Bastard : Of no more force to dispossess me, sir, [p]Than was his will to get
me, as I think.

Queen Elinor : Whether hadst thou rather be a Faulconbridge [p]And like thy brother,
to enjoy thy land, [p]Or the reputed son of Coeur-de-lion, [p]Lord of
thy presence and no land beside?

Philip the Bastard : Madam, an if my brother had my shape, [p]And I had his, sir Robert's
his, like him; [p]And if my legs were two such riding-rods, [p]My arms
such eel-skins stuff'd, my face so thin [p]That in mine ear I durst
not stick a rose [p]Lest men should say 'Look, where three-farthings
goes!' [p]And, to his shape, were heir to all this land, [p]Would I
might never stir from off this place, [p]I would give it every foot to
have this face; [p]I would not be sir Nob in any case.

Queen Elinor : I like thee well: wilt thou forsake thy fortune, [p]Bequeath thy land
to him and follow me? [p]I am a soldier and now bound to France.

Philip the Bastard : Brother, take you my land, I'll take my chance. [p]Your face hath got
five hundred pound a year, [p]Yet sell your face for five pence and
'tis dear. [p]Madam, I'll follow you unto the death.

Queen Elinor : Nay, I would have you go before me thither.

Philip the Bastard : Our country manners give our betters way.

King John : What is thy name?

Philip the Bastard : Philip, my liege, so is my name begun, [p]Philip, good old sir
Robert's wife's eldest son.

King John : From henceforth bear his name whose form thou bear'st: [p]Kneel thou
down Philip, but rise more great, [p]Arise sir Richard and
Plantagenet.

Philip the Bastard : Brother by the mother's side, give me your hand: [p]My father gave me
honour, yours gave land. [p]Now blessed by the hour, by night or
day, [p]When I was got, sir Robert was away!

Queen Elinor : The very spirit of Plantagenet! [p]I am thy grandam, Richard; call me
so.

Philip the Bastard : Madam, by chance but not by truth; what though? [p]Something about, a
little from the right, [p]In at the window, or else o'er the
hatch: [p]Who dares not stir by day must walk by night, [p]And have is
have, however men do catch: [p]Near or far off, well won is still well
shot, [p]And I am I, howe'er I was begot.

King John : Go, Faulconbridge: now hast thou thy desire; [p]A landless knight
makes thee a landed squire. [p]Come, madam, and come, Richard, we must
speed [p]For France, for France, for it is more than need.

Philip the Bastard : Brother, adieu: good fortune come to thee! [p]For thou wast got i' the
way of honesty. [p][Exeunt all but BASTARD] [p]A foot of honour better
than I was; [p]But many a many foot of land the worse. [p]Well, now
can I make any Joan a lady. [p]'Good den, sir Richard!'--'God-a-mercy,
fellow!'-- [p]And if his name be George, I'll call him Peter; [p]For
new-made honour doth forget men's names; [p]'Tis too respective and
too sociable [p]For your conversion. Now your traveller, [p]He and his
toothpick at my worship's mess, [p]And when my knightly stomach is
sufficed, [p]Why then I suck my teeth and catechise [p]My picked man
of countries: 'My dear sir,' [p]Thus, leaning on mine elbow, I
begin, [p]'I shall beseech you'--that is question now; [p]And then
comes answer like an Absey book: [p]'O sir,' says answer, 'at your
best command; [p]At your employment; at your service, sir;' [p]'No,
sir,' says question, 'I, sweet sir, at yours:' [p]And so, ere answer
knows what question would, [p]Saving in dialogue of compliment, [p]And
talking of the Alps and Apennines, [p]The Pyrenean and the river
Po, [p]It draws toward supper in conclusion so. [p]But this is
worshipful society [p]And fits the mounting spirit like myself, [p]For
he is but a bastard to the time [p]That doth not smack of
observation; [p]And so am I, whether I smack or no; [p]And not alone
in habit and device, [p]Exterior form, outward accoutrement, [p]But
from the inward motion to deliver [p]Sweet, sweet, sweet poison for
the age's tooth: [p]Which, though I will not practise to
deceive, [p]Yet, to avoid deceit, I mean to learn; [p]For it shall
strew the footsteps of my rising. [p]But who comes in such haste in
riding-robes? [p]What woman-post is this? hath she no husband [p]That
will take pains to blow a horn before her? [p][Enter LADY
FAULCONBRIDGE and GURNEY] [p]O me! it is my mother. How now, good
lady! [p]What brings you here to court so hastily?

Lady Faulconbridge : Where is that slave, thy brother? where is he, [p]That holds in chase
mine honour up and down?

Philip the Bastard : My brother Robert? old sir Robert's son? [p]Colbrand the giant, that
same mighty man? [p]Is it sir Robert's son that you seek so?

Lady Faulconbridge : Sir Robert's son! Ay, thou unreverend boy, [p]Sir Robert's son: why
scorn'st thou at sir Robert? [p]He is sir Robert's son, and so art
thou.

Philip the Bastard : James Gurney, wilt thou give us leave awhile?

James Gurney : Good leave, good Philip.

Philip the Bastard : Philip! sparrow: James, [p]There's toys abroad: anon I'll tell thee
more. [p][Exit GURNEY] [p]Madam, I was not old sir Robert's
son: [p]Sir Robert might have eat his part in me [p]Upon Good-Friday
and ne'er broke his fast: [p]Sir Robert could do well: marry, to
confess, [p]Could he get me? Sir Robert could not do it: [p]We know
his handiwork: therefore, good mother, [p]To whom am I beholding for
these limbs? [p]Sir Robert never holp to make this leg.

Lady Faulconbridge : Hast thou conspired with thy brother too, [p]That for thine own gain
shouldst defend mine honour? [p]What means this scorn, thou most
untoward knave?

Philip the Bastard : Knight, knight, good mother, Basilisco-like. [p]What! I am dubb'd! I
have it on my shoulder. [p]But, mother, I am not sir Robert's
son; [p]I have disclaim'd sir Robert and my land; [p]Legitimation,
name and all is gone: [p]Then, good my mother, let me know my
father; [p]Some proper man, I hope: who was it, mother?

Lady Faulconbridge : Hast thou denied thyself a Faulconbridge?

Philip the Bastard : As faithfully as I deny the devil.

Lady Faulconbridge : King Richard Coeur-de-lion was thy father: [p]By long and vehement
suit I was seduced [p]To make room for him in my husband's
bed: [p]Heaven lay not my transgression to my charge! [p]Thou art the
issue of my dear offence, [p]Which was so strongly urged past my
defence.

Philip the Bastard : Now, by this light, were I to get again, [p]Madam, I would not wish a
better father. [p]Some sins do bear their privilege on earth, [p]And
so doth yours; your fault was not your folly: [p]Needs must you lay
your heart at his dispose, [p]Subjected tribute to commanding
love, [p]Against whose fury and unmatched force [p]The aweless lion
could not wage the fight, [p]Nor keep his princely heart from
Richard's hand. [p]He that perforce robs lions of their hearts [p]May
easily win a woman's. Ay, my mother, [p]With all my heart I thank thee
for my father! [p]Who lives and dares but say thou didst not
well [p]When I was got, I'll send his soul to hell. [p]Come, lady, I
will show thee to my kin; [p]And they shall say, when Richard me
begot, [p]If thou hadst said him nay, it had been sin: [p]Who says it
was, he lies; I say 'twas not.

Next: Act 2 - Scene 1

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