King Lear by William Shakespeare
Act 2 - Scene 2
Before Gloucester’s Castle. Enter Kent and [Oswald the] Steward, severally.
Oswald : Good dawning to thee, friend. Art of this house?
Earl of Kent : Ay.
Oswald : Where may we set our horses?
Earl of Kent : I' th' mire.
Oswald : Prithee, if thou lov'st me, tell me.
Earl of Kent : I love thee not.
Oswald : Why then, I care not for thee.
Earl of Kent : If I had thee in Lipsbury Pinfold, I would make thee care for
[p]me.
Oswald : Why dost thou use me thus? I know thee not.
Earl of Kent : Fellow, I know thee.
Oswald : What dost thou know me for?
Earl of Kent : A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base,
proud,
[p]shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound,
filthy,
[p]worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver'd, action-taking,
whoreson,
[p]glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical
rogue;
[p]one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in
way of
[p]good service, and art nothing but the composition of a
knave,
[p]beggar, coward, pander, and the son and heir of a mongrel
bitch;
[p]one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deny
the
[p]least syllable of thy addition.
Oswald : Why, what a monstrous fellow art thou, thus to rail on one
[p]that's
neither known of thee nor knows thee!
Earl of Kent : What a brazen-fac'd varlet art thou, to deny thou knowest me!
[p]Is it
two days ago since I beat thee and tripp'd up thy heels
[p]before the
King? [Draws his sword.] Draw, you rogue! for, though
[p]it be night,
yet the moon shines. I'll make a sop o' th'
[p]moonshine o' you. Draw,
you whoreson cullionly barbermonger!
[p]draw!
Oswald : Away! I have nothing to do with thee.
Earl of Kent : Draw, you rascal! You come with letters against the King, and
[p]take
Vanity the puppet's part against the royalty of her father.
[p]Draw,
you rogue, or I'll so carbonado your shanks! Draw, you
[p]rascal! Come
your ways!
Oswald : Help, ho! murther! help!
Earl of Kent : Strike, you slave! Stand, rogue! Stand, you neat slave!
[p]Strike!
[Beats him.]
Oswald : Help, ho! murther! murther!
Edmund : How now? What's the matter? Parts [them].
Earl of Kent : With you, goodman boy, an you please! Come, I'll flesh ye!
[p]Come on,
young master!
Earl of Glouchester : Weapons? arms? What's the matter here?
Duke of Cornwall : Keep peace, upon your lives!
[p]He dies that strikes again. What is
the matter?
Regan : The messengers from our sister and the King
Duke of Cornwall : What is your difference? Speak.
Oswald : I am scarce in breath, my lord.
Earl of Kent : No marvel, you have so bestirr'd your valour. You cowardly
[p]rascal,
nature disclaims in thee; a tailor made thee.
Duke of Cornwall : Thou art a strange fellow. A tailor make a man?
Earl of Kent : Ay, a tailor, sir. A stonecutter or a painter could not have
[p]made
him so ill, though he had been but two hours at the trade.
Duke of Cornwall : Speak yet, how grew your quarrel?
Oswald : This ancient ruffian, sir, whose life I have spar'd
[p]At suit of his
grey beard-
Earl of Kent : Thou whoreson zed! thou unnecessary letter! My lord, if
[p]you'll give
me leave, I will tread this unbolted villain into
[p]mortar and daub
the walls of a jakes with him. 'Spare my grey
[p]beard,' you wagtail?
Duke of Cornwall : Peace, sirrah!
[p]You beastly knave, know you no reverence?
Earl of Kent : Yes, sir, but anger hath a privilege.
Duke of Cornwall : Why art thou angry?
Earl of Kent : That such a slave as this should wear a sword,
[p]Who wears no
honesty. Such smiling rogues as these,
[p]Like rats, oft bite the holy
cords atwain
[p]Which are too intrinse t' unloose; smooth every
passion
[p]That in the natures of their lords rebel,
[p]Bring oil to
fire, snow to their colder moods;
[p]Renege, affirm, and turn their
halcyon beaks
[p]With every gale and vary of their masters,
[p]Knowing
naught (like dogs) but following.
[p]A plague upon your epileptic
visage!
[p]Smile you my speeches, as I were a fool?
[p]Goose, an I had
you upon Sarum Plain,
[p]I'ld drive ye cackling home to Camelot.
Duke of Cornwall : What, art thou mad, old fellow?
Earl of Glouchester : How fell you out? Say that.
Earl of Kent : No contraries hold more antipathy
[p]Than I and such a knave.
Duke of Cornwall : Why dost thou call him knave? What is his fault?
Earl of Kent : His countenance likes me not.
Duke of Cornwall : No more perchance does mine, or his, or hers.
Earl of Kent : Sir, 'tis my occupation to be plain.
[p]I have seen better faces in my
time
[p]Than stands on any shoulder that I see
[p]Before me at this
instant.
Duke of Cornwall : This is some fellow
[p]Who, having been prais'd for bluntness, doth
affect
[p]A saucy roughness, and constrains the garb
[p]Quite from his
nature. He cannot flatter, he!
[p]An honest mind and plain- he must
speak truth!
[p]An they will take it, so; if not, he's plain.
[p]These
kind of knaves I know which in this plainness
[p]Harbour more craft
and more corrupter ends
[p]Than twenty silly-ducking
observants
[p]That stretch their duties nicely.
Earl of Kent : Sir, in good faith, in sincere verity,
[p]Under th' allowance of your
great aspect,
[p]Whose influence, like the wreath of radiant
fire
[p]On flickering Phoebus' front-
Duke of Cornwall : What mean'st by this?
Earl of Kent : To go out of my dialect, which you discommend so much. I
[p]know, sir,
I am no flatterer. He that beguil'd you in a plain
[p]accent was a
plain knave, which, for my part, I will not be,
[p]though I should win
your displeasure to entreat me to't.
Duke of Cornwall : What was th' offence you gave him?
Oswald : I never gave him any.
[p]It pleas'd the King his master very
late
[p]To strike at me, upon his misconstruction;
[p]When he,
conjunct, and flattering his displeasure,
[p]Tripp'd me behind; being
down, insulted, rail'd
[p]And put upon him such a deal of man
[p]That
worthied him, got praises of the King
[p]For him attempting who was
self-subdu'd;
[p]And, in the fleshment of this dread exploit,
[p]Drew
on me here again.
Earl of Kent : None of these rogues and cowards
[p]But Ajax is their fool.
Duke of Cornwall : Fetch forth the stocks!
[p]You stubborn ancient knave, you reverent
braggart,
[p]We'll teach you-
Earl of Kent : Sir, I am too old to learn.
[p]Call not your stocks for me. I serve
the King;
[p]On whose employment I was sent to you.
[p]You shall do
small respect, show too bold malice
[p]Against the grace and person of
my master,
[p]Stocking his messenger.
Duke of Cornwall : Fetch forth the stocks! As I have life and honour,
[p]There shall he
sit till noon.
Regan : Till noon? Till night, my lord, and all night too!
Earl of Kent : Why, madam, if I were your father's dog,
[p]You should not use me so.
Regan : Sir, being his knave, I will.
Duke of Cornwall : This is a fellow of the selfsame colour
[p]Our sister speaks of. Come,
bring away the stocks!
Earl of Glouchester : Let me beseech your Grace not to do so.
[p]His fault is much, and the
good King his master
[p]Will check him for't. Your purpos'd low
correction
[p]Is such as basest and contemn'dest wretches
[p]For
pilf'rings and most common trespasses
[p]Are punish'd with. The King
must take it ill
[p]That he, so slightly valued in his
messenger,
[p]Should have him thus restrain'd.
Duke of Cornwall : I'll answer that.
Regan : My sister may receive it much more worse,
[p]To have her gentleman
abus'd, assaulted,
[p]For following her affairs. Put in his
legs.-
[p][Kent is put in the stocks.]
[p]Come, my good lord, away.
Earl of Glouchester : I am sorry for thee, friend. 'Tis the Duke's pleasure,
[p]Whose
disposition, all the world well knows,
[p]Will not be rubb'd nor
stopp'd. I'll entreat for thee.
Earl of Kent : Pray do not, sir. I have watch'd and travell'd hard.
[p]Some time I
shall sleep out, the rest I'll whistle.
[p]A good man's fortune may
grow out at heels.
[p]Give you good morrow!
Earl of Glouchester : The Duke 's to blame in this; 'twill be ill taken. Exit.
Earl of Kent : Good King, that must approve the common saw,
[p]Thou out of heaven's
benediction com'st
[p]To the warm sun!
[p]Approach, thou beacon to
this under globe,
[p]That by thy comfortable beams I may
[p]Peruse
this letter. Nothing almost sees miracles
[p]But misery. I know 'tis
from Cordelia,
[p]Who hath most fortunately been inform'd
[p]Of my
obscured course- and [reads] 'shall find time
[p]From this enormous
state, seeking to give
[p]Losses their remedies'- All weary and
o'erwatch'd,
[p]Take vantage, heavy eyes, not to behold
[p]This
shameful lodging.
[p]Fortune, good night; smile once more, turn thy
wheel.
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Next: Act 2 - Scene 3
