Much Ado about Nothing by William Shakespeare
Act 3 - Scene 1
LEONATO’S garden.
Hero : Good Margaret, run thee to the parlor;
[p]There shalt thou find my
cousin Beatrice
[p]Proposing with the prince and Claudio:
[p]Whisper
her ear and tell her, I and Ursula
[p]Walk in the orchard and our
whole discourse
[p]Is all of her; say that thou overheard'st
us;
[p]And bid her steal into the pleached bower,
[p]Where
honeysuckles, ripen'd by the sun,
[p]Forbid the sun to enter, like
favourites,
[p]Made proud by princes, that advance their
pride
[p]Against that power that bred it: there will she hide
her,
[p]To listen our purpose. This is thy office;
[p]Bear thee well
in it and leave us alone.
Margaret : I'll make her come, I warrant you, presently.
Hero : Now, Ursula, when Beatrice doth come,
[p]As we do trace this alley up
and down,
[p]Our talk must only be of Benedick.
[p]When I do name him,
let it be thy part
[p]To praise him more than ever man did
merit:
[p]My talk to thee must be how Benedick
[p]Is sick in love with
Beatrice. Of this matter
[p]Is little Cupid's crafty arrow
made,
[p]That only wounds by hearsay.
[p][Enter BEATRICE,
behind]
[p]Now begin;
[p]For look where Beatrice, like a lapwing,
runs
[p]Close by the ground, to hear our conference.
Ursula : The pleasant'st angling is to see the fish
[p]Cut with her golden oars
the silver stream,
[p]And greedily devour the treacherous bait:
[p]So
angle we for Beatrice; who even now
[p]Is couched in the woodbine
coverture.
[p]Fear you not my part of the dialogue.
Hero : Then go we near her, that her ear lose nothing
[p]Of the false sweet
bait that we lay for it.
[p][Approaching the bower]
[p]No, truly,
Ursula, she is too disdainful;
[p]I know her spirits are as coy and
wild
[p]As haggerds of the rock.
Ursula : But are you sure
[p]That Benedick loves Beatrice so entirely?
Hero : So says the prince and my new-trothed lord.
Ursula : And did they bid you tell her of it, madam?
Hero : They did entreat me to acquaint her of it;
[p]But I persuaded them, if
they loved Benedick,
[p]To wish him wrestle with affection,
[p]And
never to let Beatrice know of it.
Ursula : Why did you so? Doth not the gentleman
[p]Deserve as full as fortunate
a bed
[p]As ever Beatrice shall couch upon?
Hero : O god of love! I know he doth deserve
[p]As much as may be yielded to
a man:
[p]But Nature never framed a woman's heart
[p]Of prouder stuff
than that of Beatrice;
[p]Disdain and scorn ride sparkling in her
eyes,
[p]Misprising what they look on, and her wit
[p]Values itself so
highly that to her
[p]All matter else seems weak: she cannot
love,
[p]Nor take no shape nor project of affection,
[p]She is so
self-endeared.
Ursula : Sure, I think so;
[p]And therefore certainly it were not good
[p]She
knew his love, lest she make sport at it.
Hero : Why, you speak truth. I never yet saw man,
[p]How wise, how noble,
young, how rarely featured,
[p]But she would spell him backward: if
fair-faced,
[p]She would swear the gentleman should be her
sister;
[p]If black, why, Nature, drawing of an antique,
[p]Made a
foul blot; if tall, a lance ill-headed;
[p]If low, an agate very
vilely cut;
[p]If speaking, why, a vane blown with all winds;
[p]If
silent, why, a block moved with none.
[p]So turns she every man the
wrong side out
[p]And never gives to truth and virtue that
[p]Which
simpleness and merit purchaseth.
Ursula : Sure, sure, such carping is not commendable.
Hero : No, not to be so odd and from all fashions
[p]As Beatrice is, cannot
be commendable:
[p]But who dare tell her so? If I should speak,
[p]She
would mock me into air; O, she would laugh me
[p]Out of myself, press
me to death with wit.
[p]Therefore let Benedick, like cover'd
fire,
[p]Consume away in sighs, waste inwardly:
[p]It were a better
death than die with mocks,
[p]Which is as bad as die with tickling.
Ursula : Yet tell her of it: hear what she will say.
Hero : No; rather I will go to Benedick
[p]And counsel him to fight against
his passion.
[p]And, truly, I'll devise some honest slanders
[p]To
stain my cousin with: one doth not know
[p]How much an ill word may
empoison liking.
Ursula : O, do not do your cousin such a wrong.
[p]She cannot be so much
without true judgment--
[p]Having so swift and excellent a wit
[p]As
she is prized to have--as to refuse
[p]So rare a gentleman as Signior
Benedick.
Hero : He is the only man of Italy.
[p]Always excepted my dear Claudio.
Ursula : I pray you, be not angry with me, madam,
[p]Speaking my fancy: Signior
Benedick,
[p]For shape, for bearing, argument and valour,
[p]Goes
foremost in report through Italy.
Hero : Indeed, he hath an excellent good name.
Ursula : His excellence did earn it, ere he had it.
[p]When are you married,
madam?
Hero : Why, every day, to-morrow. Come, go in:
[p]I'll show thee some
attires, and have thy counsel
[p]Which is the best to furnish me
to-morrow.
Ursula : She's limed, I warrant you: we have caught her, madam.
Hero : If it proves so, then loving goes by haps:
[p]Some Cupid kills with
arrows, some with traps.
Beatrice : [Coming forward]
[p]What fire is in mine ears? Can this be
true?
[p]Stand I condemn'd for pride and scorn so much?
[p]Contempt,
farewell! and maiden pride, adieu!
[p]No glory lives behind the back
of such.
[p]And, Benedick, love on; I will requite thee,
[p]Taming my
wild heart to thy loving hand:
[p]If thou dost love, my kindness shall
incite thee
[p]To bind our loves up in a holy band;
[p]For others say
thou dost deserve, and I
[p]Believe it better than reportingly.
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