Much Ado about Nothing by William Shakespeare

Act 5 - Scene 1

Before LEONATO’S house.

Antonio : If you go on thus, you will kill yourself: [p]And 'tis not wisdom thus
to second grief [p]Against yourself.

Leonato : I pray thee, cease thy counsel, [p]Which falls into mine ears as
profitless [p]As water in a sieve: give not me counsel; [p]Nor let no
comforter delight mine ear [p]But such a one whose wrongs do suit with
mine. [p]Bring me a father that so loved his child, [p]Whose joy of
her is overwhelm'd like mine, [p]And bid him speak of
patience; [p]Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine [p]And let
it answer every strain for strain, [p]As thus for thus and such a
grief for such, [p]In every lineament, branch, shape, and form: [p]If
such a one will smile and stroke his beard, [p]Bid sorrow wag, cry
'hem!' when he should groan, [p]Patch grief with proverbs, make
misfortune drunk [p]With candle-wasters; bring him yet to me, [p]And I
of him will gather patience. [p]But there is no such man: for,
brother, men [p]Can counsel and speak comfort to that grief [p]Which
they themselves not feel; but, tasting it, [p]Their counsel turns to
passion, which before [p]Would give preceptial medicine to
rage, [p]Fetter strong madness in a silken thread, [p]Charm ache with
air and agony with words: [p]No, no; 'tis all men's office to speak
patience [p]To those that wring under the load of sorrow, [p]But no
man's virtue nor sufficiency [p]To be so moral when he shall
endure [p]The like himself. Therefore give me no counsel: [p]My griefs
cry louder than advertisement.

Antonio : Therein do men from children nothing differ.

Leonato : I pray thee, peace. I will be flesh and blood; [p]For there was never
yet philosopher [p]That could endure the toothache
patiently, [p]However they have writ the style of gods [p]And made a
push at chance and sufferance.

Antonio : Yet bend not all the harm upon yourself; [p]Make those that do offend
you suffer too.

Leonato : There thou speak'st reason: nay, I will do so. [p]My soul doth tell me
Hero is belied; [p]And that shall Claudio know; so shall the
prince [p]And all of them that thus dishonour her.

Antonio : Here comes the prince and Claudio hastily.

Don Pedro : Good den, good den.

Claudio : Good day to both of you.

Leonato : Hear you. my lords,--

Don Pedro : We have some haste, Leonato.

Leonato : Some haste, my lord! well, fare you well, my lord: [p]Are you so hasty
now? well, all is one.

Don Pedro : Nay, do not quarrel with us, good old man.

Antonio : If he could right himself with quarreling, [p]Some of us would lie
low.

Claudio : Who wrongs him?

Leonato : Marry, thou dost wrong me; thou dissembler, thou:-- [p]Nay, never lay
thy hand upon thy sword; [p]I fear thee not.

Claudio : Marry, beshrew my hand, [p]If it should give your age such cause of
fear: [p]In faith, my hand meant nothing to my sword.

Leonato : Tush, tush, man; never fleer and jest at me: [p]I speak not like a
dotard nor a fool, [p]As under privilege of age to brag [p]What I have
done being young, or what would do [p]Were I not old. Know, Claudio,
to thy head, [p]Thou hast so wrong'd mine innocent child and
me [p]That I am forced to lay my reverence by [p]And, with grey hairs
and bruise of many days, [p]Do challenge thee to trial of a man. [p]I
say thou hast belied mine innocent child; [p]Thy slander hath gone
through and through her heart, [p]And she lies buried with her
ancestors; [p]O, in a tomb where never scandal slept, [p]Save this of
hers, framed by thy villany!

Claudio : My villany?

Leonato : Thine, Claudio; thine, I say.

Don Pedro : You say not right, old man.

Leonato : My lord, my lord, [p]I'll prove it on his body, if he dare, [p]Despite
his nice fence and his active practise, [p]His May of youth and bloom
of lustihood.

Claudio : Away! I will not have to do with you.

Leonato : Canst thou so daff me? Thou hast kill'd my child: [p]If thou kill'st
me, boy, thou shalt kill a man.

Antonio : He shall kill two of us, and men indeed: [p]But that's no matter; let
him kill one first; [p]Win me and wear me; let him answer me. [p]Come,
follow me, boy; come, sir boy, come, follow me: [p]Sir boy, I'll whip
you from your foining fence; [p]Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will.

Leonato : Brother,--

Antonio : Content yourself. God knows I loved my niece; [p]And she is dead,
slander'd to death by villains, [p]That dare as well answer a man
indeed [p]As I dare take a serpent by the tongue: [p]Boys, apes,
braggarts, Jacks, milksops!

Leonato : Brother Antony,--

Antonio : Hold you content. What, man! I know them, yea, [p]And what they weigh,
even to the utmost scruple,-- [p]Scrambling, out-facing,
fashion-monging boys, [p]That lie and cog and flout, deprave and
slander, [p]Go anticly, show outward hideousness, [p]And speak off
half a dozen dangerous words, [p]How they might hurt their enemies, if
they durst; [p]And this is all.

Leonato : But, brother Antony,--

Antonio : Come, 'tis no matter: [p]Do not you meddle; let me deal in this.

Don Pedro : Gentlemen both, we will not wake your patience. [p]My heart is sorry
for your daughter's death: [p]But, on my honour, she was charged with
nothing [p]But what was true and very full of proof.

Leonato : My lord, my lord,--

Don Pedro : I will not hear you.

Leonato : No? Come, brother; away! I will be heard.

Antonio : And shall, or some of us will smart for it.

Don Pedro : See, see; here comes the man we went to seek.

Claudio : Now, signior, what news?

Benedick : Good day, my lord.

Don Pedro : Welcome, signior: you are almost come to part [p]almost a fray.

Claudio : We had like to have had our two noses snapped off [p]with two old men
without teeth.

Don Pedro : Leonato and his brother. What thinkest thou? Had [p]we fought, I doubt
we should have been too young for them.

Benedick : In a false quarrel there is no true valour. I came [p]to seek you
both.

Claudio : We have been up and down to seek thee; for we are [p]high-proof
melancholy and would fain have it beaten [p]away. Wilt thou use thy
wit?

Benedick : It is in my scabbard: shall I draw it?

Don Pedro : Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side?

Claudio : Never any did so, though very many have been beside [p]their wit. I
will bid thee draw, as we do the [p]minstrels; draw, to pleasure us.

Don Pedro : As I am an honest man, he looks pale. Art thou [p]sick, or angry?

Claudio : What, courage, man! What though care killed a cat, [p]thou hast mettle
enough in thee to kill care.

Benedick : Sir, I shall meet your wit in the career, and you [p]charge it against
me. I pray you choose another subject.

Claudio : Nay, then, give him another staff: this last was [p]broke cross.

Don Pedro : By this light, he changes more and more: I think [p]he be angry
indeed.

Claudio : If he be, he knows how to turn his girdle.

Benedick : Shall I speak a word in your ear?

Claudio : God bless me from a challenge!

Benedick : [Aside to CLAUDIO] You are a villain; I jest not: [p]I will make it
good how you dare, with what you [p]dare, and when you dare. Do me
right, or I will [p]protest your cowardice. You have killed a
sweet [p]lady, and her death shall fall heavy on you. Let me [p]hear
from you.

Claudio : Well, I will meet you, so I may have good cheer.

Don Pedro : What, a feast, a feast?

Claudio : I' faith, I thank him; he hath bid me to a calf's [p]head and a capon;
the which if I do not carve most [p]curiously, say my knife's naught.
Shall I not find [p]a woodcock too?

Benedick : Sir, your wit ambles well; it goes easily.

Don Pedro : I'll tell thee how Beatrice praised thy wit the [p]other day. I said,
thou hadst a fine wit: 'True,' [p]said she, 'a fine little one.' 'No,'
said I, 'a [p]great wit:' 'Right,' says she, 'a great gross
one.' [p]'Nay,' said I, 'a good wit:' 'Just,' said she, 'it [p]hurts
nobody.' 'Nay,' said I, 'the gentleman [p]is wise:' 'Certain,' said
she, 'a wise gentleman.' [p]'Nay,' said I, 'he hath the tongues:'
'That I [p]believe,' said she, 'for he swore a thing to me
on [p]Monday night, which he forswore on Tuesday morning; [p]there's a
double tongue; there's two tongues.' Thus [p]did she, an hour
together, transshape thy particular [p]virtues: yet at last she
concluded with a sigh, thou [p]wast the properest man in Italy.

Claudio : For the which she wept heartily and said she cared [p]not.

Don Pedro : Yea, that she did: but yet, for all that, an if she [p]did not hate
him deadly, she would love him dearly: [p]the old man's daughter told
us all.

Claudio : All, all; and, moreover, God saw him when he was [p]hid in the
garden.

Don Pedro : But when shall we set the savage bull's horns on [p]the sensible
Benedick's head?

Claudio : Yea, and text underneath, 'Here dwells Benedick the [p]married man'?

Benedick : Fare you well, boy: you know my mind. I will leave [p]you now to your
gossip-like humour: you break jests [p]as braggarts do their blades,
which God be thanked, [p]hurt not. My lord, for your many courtesies I
thank [p]you: I must discontinue your company: your brother [p]the
bastard is fled from Messina: you have among [p]you killed a sweet and
innocent lady. For my Lord [p]Lackbeard there, he and I shall meet:
and, till [p]then, peace be with him.

Don Pedro : He is in earnest.

Claudio : In most profound earnest; and, I'll warrant you, for [p]the love of
Beatrice.

Don Pedro : And hath challenged thee.

Claudio : Most sincerely.

Don Pedro : What a pretty thing man is when he goes in his [p]doublet and hose and
leaves off his wit!

Claudio : He is then a giant to an ape; but then is an ape a [p]doctor to such a
man.

Don Pedro : But, soft you, let me be: pluck up, my heart, and [p]be sad. Did he
not say, my brother was fled?

Dogberry : Come you, sir: if justice cannot tame you, she [p]shall ne'er weigh
more reasons in her balance: nay, [p]an you be a cursing hypocrite
once, you must be looked to.

Don Pedro : How now? two of my brother's men bound! Borachio [p]one!

Claudio : Hearken after their offence, my lord.

Don Pedro : Officers, what offence have these men done?

Dogberry : Marry, sir, they have committed false report; [p]moreover, they have
spoken untruths; secondarily, [p]they are slanders; sixth and lastly,
they have [p]belied a lady; thirdly, they have verified
unjust [p]things; and, to conclude, they are lying knaves.

Don Pedro : First, I ask thee what they have done; thirdly, I [p]ask thee what's
their offence; sixth and lastly, why [p]they are committed; and, to
conclude, what you lay [p]to their charge.

Claudio : Rightly reasoned, and in his own division: and, by [p]my troth,
there's one meaning well suited.

Don Pedro : Who have you offended, masters, that you are thus [p]bound to your
answer? this learned constable is [p]too cunning to be understood:
what's your offence?

Borachio : Sweet prince, let me go no farther to mine answer: [p]do you hear me,
and let this count kill me. I have [p]deceived even your very eyes:
what your wisdoms [p]could not discover, these shallow fools have
brought [p]to light: who in the night overheard me confessing [p]to
this man how Don John your brother incensed me [p]to slander the Lady
Hero, how you were brought into [p]the orchard and saw me court
Margaret in Hero's [p]garments, how you disgraced her, when you
should [p]marry her: my villany they have upon record; which [p]I had
rather seal with my death than repeat over [p]to my shame. The lady is
dead upon mine and my [p]master's false accusation; and, briefly, I
desire [p]nothing but the reward of a villain.

Don Pedro : Runs not this speech like iron through your blood?

Claudio : I have drunk poison whiles he utter'd it.

Don Pedro : But did my brother set thee on to this?

Borachio : Yea, and paid me richly for the practise of it.

Don Pedro : He is composed and framed of treachery: [p]And fled he is upon this
villany.

Claudio : Sweet Hero! now thy image doth appear [p]In the rare semblance that I
loved it first.

Dogberry : Come, bring away the plaintiffs: by this time our [p]sexton hath
reformed Signior Leonato of the matter: [p]and, masters, do not forget
to specify, when time [p]and place shall serve, that I am an ass.

Verges : Here, here comes master Signior Leonato, and the [p]Sexton too.

Leonato : Which is the villain? let me see his eyes, [p]That, when I note
another man like him, [p]I may avoid him: which of these is he?

Borachio : If you would know your wronger, look on me.

Leonato : Art thou the slave that with thy breath hast kill'd [p]Mine innocent
child?

Borachio : Yea, even I alone.

Leonato : No, not so, villain; thou beliest thyself: [p]Here stand a pair of
honourable men; [p]A third is fled, that had a hand in it. [p]I thank
you, princes, for my daughter's death: [p]Record it with your high and
worthy deeds: [p]'Twas bravely done, if you bethink you of it.

Claudio : I know not how to pray your patience; [p]Yet I must speak. Choose your
revenge yourself; [p]Impose me to what penance your invention [p]Can
lay upon my sin: yet sinn'd I not [p]But in mistaking.

Don Pedro : By my soul, nor I: [p]And yet, to satisfy this good old man, [p]I
would bend under any heavy weight [p]That he'll enjoin me to.

Leonato : I cannot bid you bid my daughter live; [p]That were impossible: but, I
pray you both, [p]Possess the people in Messina here [p]How innocent
she died; and if your love [p]Can labour ought in sad
invention, [p]Hang her an epitaph upon her tomb [p]And sing it to her
bones, sing it to-night: [p]To-morrow morning come you to my
house, [p]And since you could not be my son-in-law, [p]Be yet my
nephew: my brother hath a daughter, [p]Almost the copy of my child
that's dead, [p]And she alone is heir to both of us: [p]Give her the
right you should have given her cousin, [p]And so dies my revenge.

Claudio : O noble sir, [p]Your over-kindness doth wring tears from me! [p]I do
embrace your offer; and dispose [p]For henceforth of poor Claudio.

Leonato : To-morrow then I will expect your coming; [p]To-night I take my leave.
This naughty man [p]Shall face to face be brought to Margaret, [p]Who
I believe was pack'd in all this wrong, [p]Hired to it by your
brother.

Borachio : No, by my soul, she was not, [p]Nor knew not what she did when she
spoke to me, [p]But always hath been just and virtuous [p]In any thing
that I do know by her.

Dogberry : Moreover, sir, which indeed is not under white and [p]black, this
plaintiff here, the offender, did call [p]me ass: I beseech you, let
it be remembered in his [p]punishment. And also, the watch heard them
talk of [p]one Deformed: they say be wears a key in his ear and [p]a
lock hanging by it, and borrows money in God's [p]name, the which he
hath used so long and never paid [p]that now men grow hard-hearted and
will lend nothing [p]for God's sake: pray you, examine him upon that
point.

Leonato : I thank thee for thy care and honest pains.

Dogberry : Your worship speaks like a most thankful and [p]reverend youth; and I
praise God for you.

Leonato : There's for thy pains.

Dogberry : God save the foundation!

Leonato : Go, I discharge thee of thy prisoner, and I thank thee.

Dogberry : I leave an arrant knave with your worship; which I [p]beseech your
worship to correct yourself, for the [p]example of others. God keep
your worship! I wish [p]your worship well; God restore you to health!
I [p]humbly give you leave to depart; and if a merry [p]meeting may be
wished, God prohibit it! Come, neighbour.

Leonato : Until to-morrow morning, lords, farewell.

Antonio : Farewell, my lords: we look for you to-morrow.

Don Pedro : We will not fail.

Claudio : To-night I'll mourn with Hero.

Leonato : [To the Watch] Bring you these fellows on. We'll [p]talk with
Margaret, [p]How her acquaintance grew with this lewd fellow.

Previous: Act 4 - Scene 2

Next: Act 5 - Scene 2

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