Much Ado about Nothing by William Shakespeare
Act 5 - Scene 2
LEONATO’S garden.
Benedick : Pray thee, sweet Mistress Margaret, deserve well at
[p]my hands by
helping me to the speech of Beatrice.
Margaret : Will you then write me a sonnet in praise of my beauty?
Benedick : In so high a style, Margaret, that no man living
[p]shall come over
it; for, in most comely truth, thou
[p]deservest it.
Margaret : To have no man come over me! why, shall I always
[p]keep below
stairs?
Benedick : Thy wit is as quick as the greyhound's mouth; it catches.
Margaret : And yours as blunt as the fencer's foils, which hit,
[p]but hurt not.
Benedick : A most manly wit, Margaret; it will not hurt a
[p]woman: and so, I
pray thee, call Beatrice: I give
[p]thee the bucklers.
Margaret : Give us the swords; we have bucklers of our own.
Benedick : If you use them, Margaret, you must put in the
[p]pikes with a vice;
and they are dangerous weapons for maids.
Margaret : Well, I will call Beatrice to you, who I think hath legs.
Benedick : And therefore will come.
[p][Exit MARGARET]
[p][Sings]
[p]The god of
love,
[p]That sits above,
[p]And knows me, and knows me,
[p]How
pitiful I deserve,--
[p]I mean in singing; but in loving, Leander the
good
[p]swimmer, Troilus the first employer of panders, and
[p]a whole
bookful of these quondam carpet-mangers,
[p]whose names yet run
smoothly in the even road of a
[p]blank verse, why, they were never so
truly turned
[p]over and over as my poor self in love. Marry,
I
[p]cannot show it in rhyme; I have tried: I can find
[p]out no rhyme
to 'lady' but 'baby,' an innocent
[p]rhyme; for 'scorn,' 'horn,' a
hard rhyme; for,
[p]'school,' 'fool,' a babbling rhyme; very
ominous
[p]endings: no, I was not born under a rhyming planet,
[p]nor
I cannot woo in festival terms.
[p][Enter BEATRICE]
[p]Sweet Beatrice,
wouldst thou come when I called thee?
Beatrice : Yea, signior, and depart when you bid me.
Benedick : O, stay but till then!
Beatrice : 'Then' is spoken; fare you well now: and yet, ere
[p]I go, let me go
with that I came; which is, with
[p]knowing what hath passed between
you and Claudio.
Benedick : Only foul words; and thereupon I will kiss thee.
Beatrice : Foul words is but foul wind, and foul wind is but
[p]foul breath, and
foul breath is noisome; therefore I
[p]will depart unkissed.
Benedick : Thou hast frighted the word out of his right sense,
[p]so forcible is
thy wit. But I must tell thee
[p]plainly, Claudio undergoes my
challenge; and either
[p]I must shortly hear from him, or I will
subscribe
[p]him a coward. And, I pray thee now, tell me for
[p]which
of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love with me?
Beatrice : For them all together; which maintained so politic
[p]a state of evil
that they will not admit any good
[p]part to intermingle with them.
But for which of my
[p]good parts did you first suffer love for me?
Benedick : Suffer love! a good epithet! I do suffer love
[p]indeed, for I love
thee against my will.
Beatrice : In spite of your heart, I think; alas, poor heart!
[p]If you spite it
for my sake, I will spite it for
[p]yours; for I will never love that
which my friend hates.
Benedick : Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably.
Beatrice : It appears not in this confession: there's not one
[p]wise man among
twenty that will praise himself.
Benedick : An old, an old instance, Beatrice, that lived in
[p]the lime of good
neighbours. If a man do not erect
[p]in this age his own tomb ere he
dies, he shall live
[p]no longer in monument than the bell rings and
the
[p]widow weeps.
Beatrice : And how long is that, think you?
Benedick : Question: why, an hour in clamour and a quarter in
[p]rheum: therefore
is it most expedient for the
[p]wise, if Don Worm, his conscience,
find no
[p]impediment to the contrary, to be the trumpet of his
[p]own
virtues, as I am to myself. So much for
[p]praising myself, who, I
myself will bear witness, is
[p]praiseworthy: and now tell me, how
doth your cousin?
Beatrice : Very ill.
Benedick : And how do you?
Beatrice : Very ill too.
Benedick : Serve God, love me and mend. There will I leave
[p]you too, for here
comes one in haste.
Ursula : Madam, you must come to your uncle. Yonder's old
[p]coil at home: it
is proved my Lady Hero hath been
[p]falsely accused, the prince and
Claudio mightily
[p]abused; and Don John is the author of all, who
is
[p]fed and gone. Will you come presently?
Beatrice : Will you go hear this news, signior?
Benedick : I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be
[p]buried in thy
eyes; and moreover I will go with
[p]thee to thy uncle's.
Previous: Act 5 - Scene 1
Next: Act 5 - Scene 3
