Two Gentlemen of Verona by William Shakespeare

Act 1 - Scene 2

The same. Garden of JULIA’s house.

Julia : But say, Lucetta, now we are alone, [p]Wouldst thou then counsel me to
fall in love?

Lucetta : Ay, madam, so you stumble not unheedfully.

Julia : Of all the fair resort of gentlemen [p]That every day with parle
encounter me, [p]In thy opinion which is worthiest love?

Lucetta : Please you repeat their names, I'll show my mind [p]According to my
shallow simple skill.

Julia : What think'st thou of the fair Sir Eglamour?

Lucetta : As of a knight well-spoken, neat and fine; [p]But, were I you, he
never should be mine.

Julia : What think'st thou of the rich Mercatio?

Lucetta : Well of his wealth; but of himself, so so.

Julia : What think'st thou of the gentle Proteus?

Lucetta : Lord, Lord! to see what folly reigns in us!

Julia : How now! what means this passion at his name?

Lucetta : Pardon, dear madam: 'tis a passing shame [p]That I, unworthy body as I
am, [p]Should censure thus on lovely gentlemen.

Julia : Why not on Proteus, as of all the rest?

Lucetta : Then thus: of many good I think him best.

Julia : Your reason?

Lucetta : I have no other, but a woman's reason; [p]I think him so because I
think him so.

Julia : And wouldst thou have me cast my love on him?

Lucetta : Ay, if you thought your love not cast away.

Julia : Why he, of all the rest, hath never moved me.

Lucetta : Yet he, of all the rest, I think, best loves ye.

Julia : His little speaking shows his love but small.

Lucetta : Fire that's closest kept burns most of all.

Julia : They do not love that do not show their love.

Lucetta : O, they love least that let men know their love.

Julia : I would I knew his mind.

Lucetta : Peruse this paper, madam.

Julia : 'To Julia.' Say, from whom?

Lucetta : That the contents will show.

Julia : Say, say, who gave it thee?

Lucetta : Valentine's page; and sent, I think, from Proteus. [p]He would have
given it you; but I, being in the way, [p]Did in your name receive it:
pardon the [p]fault I pray.

Julia : Now, by my modesty, a goodly broker! [p]Dare you presume to harbour
wanton lines? [p]To whisper and conspire against my youth? [p]Now,
trust me, 'tis an office of great worth [p]And you an officer fit for
the place. [p]Or else return no more into my sight.

Lucetta : To plead for love deserves more fee than hate.

Julia : Will ye be gone?

Lucetta : That you may ruminate.

Julia : And yet I would I had o'erlooked the letter: [p]It were a shame to
call her back again [p]And pray her to a fault for which I chid
her. [p]What a fool is she, that knows I am a maid, [p]And would not
force the letter to my view! [p]Since maids, in modesty, say 'no' to
that [p]Which they would have the profferer construe 'ay.' [p]Fie,
fie, how wayward is this foolish love [p]That, like a testy babe, will
scratch the nurse [p]And presently all humbled kiss the rod! [p]How
churlishly I chid Lucetta hence, [p]When willingly I would have had
her here! [p]How angerly I taught my brow to frown, [p]When inward joy
enforced my heart to smile! [p]My penance is to call Lucetta
back [p]And ask remission for my folly past. [p]What ho! Lucetta!

Lucetta : What would your ladyship?

Julia : Is't near dinner-time?

Lucetta : I would it were, [p]That you might kill your stomach on your
meat [p]And not upon your maid.

Julia : What is't that you took up so gingerly?

Lucetta : Nothing.

Julia : Why didst thou stoop, then?

Lucetta : To take a paper up that I let fall.

Julia : And is that paper nothing?

Lucetta : Nothing concerning me.

Julia : Then let it lie for those that it concerns.

Lucetta : Madam, it will not lie where it concerns [p]Unless it have a false
interpeter.

Julia : Some love of yours hath writ to you in rhyme.

Lucetta : That I might sing it, madam, to a tune. [p]Give me a note: your
ladyship can set.

Julia : As little by such toys as may be possible. [p]Best sing it to the tune
of 'Light o' love.'

Lucetta : It is too heavy for so light a tune.

Julia : Heavy! belike it hath some burden then?

Lucetta : Ay, and melodious were it, would you sing it.

Julia : And why not you?

Lucetta : I cannot reach so high.

Julia : Let's see your song. How now, minion!

Lucetta : Keep tune there still, so you will sing it out: [p]And yet methinks I
do not like this tune.

Julia : You do not?

Lucetta : No, madam; it is too sharp.

Julia : You, minion, are too saucy.

Lucetta : Nay, now you are too flat [p]And mar the concord with too harsh a
descant: [p]There wanteth but a mean to fill your song.

Julia : The mean is drown'd with your unruly bass.

Lucetta : Indeed, I bid the base for Proteus.

Julia : This babble shall not henceforth trouble me. [p]Here is a coil with
protestation! [p][Tears the letter] [p]Go get you gone, and let the
papers lie: [p]You would be fingering them, to anger me.

Lucetta : She makes it strange; but she would be best pleased [p]To be so
anger'd with another letter.

Julia : Nay, would I were so anger'd with the same! [p]O hateful hands, to
tear such loving words! [p]Injurious wasps, to feed on such sweet
honey [p]And kill the bees that yield it with your stings! [p]I'll
kiss each several paper for amends. [p]Look, here is writ 'kind
Julia.' Unkind Julia! [p]As in revenge of thy ingratitude, [p]I throw
thy name against the bruising stones, [p]Trampling contemptuously on
thy disdain. [p]And here is writ 'love-wounded Proteus.' [p]Poor
wounded name! my bosom as a bed [p]Shall lodge thee till thy wound be
thoroughly heal'd; [p]And thus I search it with a sovereign
kiss. [p]But twice or thrice was 'Proteus' written down. [p]Be calm,
good wind, blow not a word away [p]Till I have found each letter in
the letter, [p]Except mine own name: that some whirlwind bear [p]Unto
a ragged fearful-hanging rock [p]And throw it thence into the raging
sea! [p]Lo, here in one line is his name twice writ, [p]'Poor forlorn
Proteus, passionate Proteus, [p]To the sweet Julia:' that I'll tear
away. [p]And yet I will not, sith so prettily [p]He couples it to his
complaining names. [p]Thus will I fold them one on another: [p]Now
kiss, embrace, contend, do what you will.

Lucetta : Madam, [p]Dinner is ready, and your father stays.

Julia : Well, let us go.

Lucetta : What, shall these papers lie like tell-tales here?

Julia : If you respect them, best to take them up.

Lucetta : Nay, I was taken up for laying them down: [p]Yet here they shall not
lie, for catching cold.

Julia : I see you have a month's mind to them.

Lucetta : Ay, madam, you may say what sights you see; [p]I see things too,
although you judge I wink.

Julia : Come, come; will't please you go?

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