Two Gentlemen of Verona by William Shakespeare
Act 4 - Scene 4
The same.
Launce : When a man's servant shall play the cur with him,
[p]look you, it goes
hard: one that I brought up of a
[p]puppy; one that I saved from
drowning, when three or
[p]four of his blind brothers and sisters went
to it.
[p]I have taught him, even as one would say precisely,
[p]'thus
I would teach a dog.' I was sent to deliver
[p]him as a present to
Mistress Silvia from my master;
[p]and I came no sooner into the
dining-chamber but he
[p]steps me to her trencher and steals her
capon's leg:
[p]O, 'tis a foul thing when a cur cannot keep
himself
[p]in all companies! I would have, as one should say,
[p]one
that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be,
[p]as it were, a dog at
all things. If I had not had
[p]more wit than he, to take a fault upon
me that he did,
[p]I think verily he had been hanged for't; sure as
I
[p]live, he had suffered for't; you shall judge. He
[p]thrusts me
himself into the company of three or four
[p]gentlemanlike dogs under
the duke's table: he had
[p]not been there--bless the mark!--a pissing
while, but
[p]all the chamber smelt him. 'Out with the dog!'
says
[p]one: 'What cur is that?' says another: 'Whip him
[p]out' says
the third: 'Hang him up' says the duke.
[p]I, having been acquainted
with the smell before,
[p]knew it was Crab, and goes me to the fellow
that
[p]whips the dogs: 'Friend,' quoth I, 'you mean to whip
[p]the
dog?' 'Ay, marry, do I,' quoth he. 'You do him
[p]the more wrong,'
quoth I; ''twas I did the thing you
[p]wot of.' He makes me no more
ado, but whips me out
[p]of the chamber. How many masters would do
this for
[p]his servant? Nay, I'll be sworn, I have sat in
the
[p]stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise he had
[p]been
executed; I have stood on the pillory for geese
[p]he hath killed,
otherwise he had suffered for't.
[p]Thou thinkest not of this now.
Nay, I remember the
[p]trick you served me when I took my leave of
Madam
[p]Silvia: did not I bid thee still mark me and do as I
[p]do?
when didst thou see me heave up my leg and make
[p]water against a
gentlewoman's farthingale? didst
[p]thou ever see me do such a trick?
Proteus : Sebastian is thy name? I like thee well
[p]And will employ thee in
some service presently.
Julia : In what you please: I'll do what I can.
Proteus : I hope thou wilt.
[p][To LAUNCE]
[p]How now, you whoreson
peasant!
[p]Where have you been these two days loitering?
Launce : Marry, sir, I carried Mistress Silvia the dog you bade me.
Proteus : And what says she to my little jewel?
Launce : Marry, she says your dog was a cur, and tells you
[p]currish thanks is
good enough for such a present.
Proteus : But she received my dog?
Launce : No, indeed, did she not: here have I brought him
[p]back again.
Proteus : What, didst thou offer her this from me?
Launce : Ay, sir: the other squirrel was stolen from me by
[p]the hangman boys
in the market-place: and then I
[p]offered her mine own, who is a dog
as big as ten of
[p]yours, and therefore the gift the greater.
Proteus : Go get thee hence, and find my dog again,
[p]Or ne'er return again
into my sight.
[p]Away, I say! stay'st thou to vex me here?
[p][Exit
LAUNCE]
[p]A slave, that still an end turns me to shame!
[p]Sebastian,
I have entertained thee,
[p]Partly that I have need of such a
youth
[p]That can with some discretion do my business,
[p]For 'tis no
trusting to yond foolish lout,
[p]But chiefly for thy face and thy
behavior,
[p]Which, if my augury deceive me not,
[p]Witness good
bringing up, fortune and truth:
[p]Therefore know thou, for this I
entertain thee.
[p]Go presently and take this ring with
thee,
[p]Deliver it to Madam Silvia:
[p]She loved me well deliver'd it
to me.
Julia : It seems you loved not her, to leave her token.
[p]She is dead,
belike?
Proteus : Not so; I think she lives.
Julia : Alas!
Proteus : Why dost thou cry 'alas'?
Julia : I cannot choose
[p]But pity her.
Proteus : Wherefore shouldst thou pity her?
Julia : Because methinks that she loved you as well
[p]As you do love your
lady Silvia:
[p]She dreams of him that has forgot her love;
[p]You
dote on her that cares not for your love.
[p]'Tis pity love should be
so contrary;
[p]And thinking of it makes me cry 'alas!'
Proteus : Well, give her that ring and therewithal
[p]This letter. That's her
chamber. Tell my lady
[p]I claim the promise for her heavenly
picture.
[p]Your message done, hie home unto my chamber,
[p]Where thou
shalt find me, sad and solitary.
Julia : How many women would do such a message?
[p]Alas, poor Proteus! thou
hast entertain'd
[p]A fox to be the shepherd of thy lambs.
[p]Alas,
poor fool! why do I pity him
[p]That with his very heart despiseth
me?
[p]Because he loves her, he despiseth me;
[p]Because I love him I
must pity him.
[p]This ring I gave him when he parted from me,
[p]To
bind him to remember my good will;
[p]And now am I, unhappy
messenger,
[p]To plead for that which I would not obtain,
[p]To carry
that which I would have refused,
[p]To praise his faith which I would
have dispraised.
[p]I am my master's true-confirmed love;
[p]But
cannot be true servant to my master,
[p]Unless I prove false traitor
to myself.
[p]Yet will I woo for him, but yet so coldly
[p]As, heaven
it knows, I would not have him speed.
[p][Enter SILVIA,
attended]
[p]Gentlewoman, good day! I pray you, be my mean
[p]To bring
me where to speak with Madam Silvia.
Silvia : What would you with her, if that I be she?
Julia : If you be she, I do entreat your patience
[p]To hear me speak the
message I am sent on.
Silvia : From whom?
Julia : From my master, Sir Proteus, madam.
Silvia : O, he sends you for a picture.
Julia : Ay, madam.
Silvia : Ursula, bring my picture here.
[p]Go give your master this: tell him
from me,
[p]One Julia, that his changing thoughts forget,
[p]Would
better fit his chamber than this shadow.
Julia : Madam, please you peruse this letter.--
[p]Pardon me, madam; I have
unadvised
[p]Deliver'd you a paper that I should not:
[p]This is the
letter to your ladyship.
Silvia : I pray thee, let me look on that again.
Julia : It may not be; good madam, pardon me.
Silvia : There, hold!
[p]I will not look upon your master's lines:
[p]I know
they are stuff'd with protestations
[p]And full of new-found oaths;
which he will break
[p]As easily as I do tear his paper.
Julia : Madam, he sends your ladyship this ring.
Silvia : The more shame for him that he sends it me;
[p]For I have heard him
say a thousand times
[p]His Julia gave it him at his
departure.
[p]Though his false finger have profaned the ring,
[p]Mine
shall not do his Julia so much wrong.
Julia : She thanks you.
Silvia : What say'st thou?
Julia : I thank you, madam, that you tender her.
[p]Poor gentlewoman! my
master wrongs her much.
Silvia : Dost thou know her?
Julia : Almost as well as I do know myself:
[p]To think upon her woes I do
protest
[p]That I have wept a hundred several times.
Silvia : Belike she thinks that Proteus hath forsook her.
Julia : I think she doth; and that's her cause of sorrow.
Silvia : Is she not passing fair?
Julia : She hath been fairer, madam, than she is:
[p]When she did think my
master loved her well,
[p]She, in my judgment, was as fair as
you:
[p]But since she did neglect her looking-glass
[p]And threw her
sun-expelling mask away,
[p]The air hath starved the roses in her
cheeks
[p]And pinch'd the lily-tincture of her face,
[p]That now she
is become as black as I.
Silvia : How tall was she?
Julia : About my stature; for at Pentecost,
[p]When all our pageants of
delight were play'd,
[p]Our youth got me to play the woman's
part,
[p]And I was trimm'd in Madam Julia's gown,
[p]Which served me
as fit, by all men's judgments,
[p]As if the garment had been made for
me:
[p]Therefore I know she is about my height.
[p]And at that time I
made her weep agood,
[p]For I did play a lamentable part:
[p]Madam,
'twas Ariadne passioning
[p]For Theseus' perjury and unjust
flight;
[p]Which I so lively acted with my tears
[p]That my poor
mistress, moved therewithal,
[p]Wept bitterly; and would I might be
dead
[p]If I in thought felt not her very sorrow!
Silvia : She is beholding to thee, gentle youth.
[p]Alas, poor lady, desolate
and left!
[p]I weep myself to think upon thy words.
[p]Here, youth,
there is my purse; I give thee this
[p]For thy sweet mistress' sake,
because thou lovest her.
[p]Farewell.
Julia : And she shall thank you for't, if e'er you know her.
[p]A virtuous
gentlewoman, mild and beautiful
[p]I hope my master's suit will be but
cold,
[p]Since she respects my mistress' love so much.
[p]Alas, how
love can trifle with itself!
[p]Here is her picture: let me see; I
think,
[p]If I had such a tire, this face of mine
[p]Were full as
lovely as is this of hers:
[p]And yet the painter flatter'd her a
little,
[p]Unless I flatter with myself too much.
[p]Her hair is
auburn, mine is perfect yellow:
[p]If that be all the difference in
his love,
[p]I'll get me such a colour'd periwig.
[p]Her eyes are grey
as glass, and so are mine:
[p]Ay, but her forehead's low, and mine's
as high.
[p]What should it be that he respects in her
[p]But I can
make respective in myself,
[p]If this fond Love were not a blinded
god?
[p]Come, shadow, come and take this shadow up,
[p]For 'tis thy
rival. O thou senseless form,
[p]Thou shalt be worshipp'd, kiss'd,
loved and adored!
[p]And, were there sense in his idolatry,
[p]My
substance should be statue in thy stead.
[p]I'll use thee kindly for
thy mistress' sake,
[p]That used me so; or else, by Jove I vow,
[p]I
should have scratch'd out your unseeing eyes
[p]To make my master out
of love with thee!
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